I always thought there was something more to life and something I am missing.
But no, its really just the same no matter where you end up. The only thing that changes is climate and the people that surround you may have a few different views on life depending on culture.
I experienced it. And in this day and age things just seem to be even more alike than a few decades back. I can move from Germany to England, USA, Singapore you Name it and I will end up doing my routine (breakfast, gym, work, eat, …) in that location.
It sounds like my life is boring but its not. Its as exciting as the life of Billion other people. Its basic, nothing special and not boring.
I am by no means suicidal but if I had the choice to be Born again I’d decline and just rather rest. If everything goes well I have another 60 years on this Planet and I am grateful for each day to be here but 80 years is enough for me. I wouldnt want to live another 200 years
Just to note, my clinical depression manifests primarily as a very thorough and all-consuming emptiness. Meds help with that, and whenever I have an episode, it’s exactly the same. I go on similar thought patterns as OP, though my conclusion is often more drastic, as in, I am simply too tired and void of reasons to stay, I can not go on, why did I ever think I could?
But then meds and time and therapy do their thing, and I’m very much different in regards to how I see these things. And I have a healthy episode. And the loop goes on.
But my point is, emptiness isn’t necessarily exclusive or distinct from depression. It manifests in many ways, and all of them are valid reasons to seek help. Nobody has to go through it alone. Few even could. I know I couldn’t have.