I’m a 21 year old guy and struggle with depression for my whole life because of traumatic things I experienced from my parents.
About 2 years ago I completely lost all my spirit and willingness in life. I fell into this dark hole where I’m not able to do anything on my own anymore and had to move back to my parents since I wasn’t able to live on my own anymore.
Since then I spent the full 2 years completely alone in my room every single day and haven’t been outside or met anyone since. I only get outside maybe once a month to buy groceries but except from that I don’t see the world anymore, have no activities to do and live with pure hopelessness, no money and very little food.
Even though my family knows all that and I’m crying out for help, no one is helping me. I’ve lived in many facilities before, went to therapy and have a psychiatrist but all they do is talk but that’s it. I tried my very best but realized that I’m just not capable to live on my own.
And then all my parents do (especially my father) is treating me the same way like when I was a kid that caused my depression in the first place by letting out their dissatisfaction/frustration with themselves on me and baselessly blaming/criticizing me for every little thing. And all that is just making it so much worse and harder for me to get out of the situation.
They let me suffer in hell until I go insane or die.
I don’t understand why this world is so cruel. It feels like no one cares about people who suffer.
I don’t get that. If I was better off and knew someone in such a situation I would do everything to help them and give them what they need. Why is no one helping and just let you suffer like that?
I have Bipolar 2, and used to feel the same way; why wasn’t anyone helping me? I felt so alone, like I was suffering, but no one wanted to listen.
It’s because after a while, people expect you to get better. People who don’t live with mental disorders don’t understand the plight of those who do. They are not equipped with the tools that professionals have to help us.
Then I got on the right meds that gave me a “boost up”. It took a long time (years) for me to find the right NP who got me on the right regimen that enabled me to function and take that first step.
Ngl, It’s really, really, hard. There are still plenty of days that I come home from work and do nothing for hours on end.
Big factor of my stagnation was my heavy dependence on cannabis. Once I got off of it, I sort of woke up for the first time in years.
TL;DR: You gotta be the change you want to see in yourself. It’s not easy—at all. But you can do this. I believe in you. Sometimes meds are part of that change.