I’m a 21 year old guy and struggle with depression for my whole life because of traumatic things I experienced from my parents.
About 2 years ago I completely lost all my spirit and willingness in life. I fell into this dark hole where I’m not able to do anything on my own anymore and had to move back to my parents since I wasn’t able to live on my own anymore.
Since then I spent the full 2 years completely alone in my room every single day and haven’t been outside or met anyone since. I only get outside maybe once a month to buy groceries but except from that I don’t see the world anymore, have no activities to do and live with pure hopelessness, no money and very little food.
Even though my family knows all that and I’m crying out for help, no one is helping me. I’ve lived in many facilities before, went to therapy and have a psychiatrist but all they do is talk but that’s it. I tried my very best but realized that I’m just not capable to live on my own.
And then all my parents do (especially my father) is treating me the same way like when I was a kid that caused my depression in the first place by letting out their dissatisfaction/frustration with themselves on me and baselessly blaming/criticizing me for every little thing. And all that is just making it so much worse and harder for me to get out of the situation.
They let me suffer in hell until I go insane or die.
I don’t understand why this world is so cruel. It feels like no one cares about people who suffer.
I don’t get that. If I was better off and knew someone in such a situation I would do everything to help them and give them what they need. Why is no one helping and just let you suffer like that?
There are many types of functional thought. None are right or wrong. They often can conflict in complex ways. I didn’t really start learning about this until my 30’s and mostly within the last 2 years. My thinking is very different than my father. He doesn’t understand very much on a fundamental abstracted level like I do. He is much more effective at just getting simple stuff done, but he hates learning, has no curiosity or self awareness. I remind myself of Hanlon’s razor, to assume stupidity over malice, almost daily.
I think there are more of us here in similar circumstances than are not. I have to tell myself that my folks did their best with the info they had and their limitations. It is okay to be smarter than your family, yet know your own limitations. I turned to riding a bicycle everywhere as an outlet. When that disabled me after fighting and totalling 2 SUVs, I turned to electronics, programing, Linux, and in more recent years AI. I’m not doing great, but I’m not dead yet. I’d rather be alone with my curiosity than with stupid people.
I have Bipolar 2, and used to feel the same way; why wasn’t anyone helping me? I felt so alone, like I was suffering, but no one wanted to listen.
It’s because after a while, people expect you to get better. People who don’t live with mental disorders don’t understand the plight of those who do. They are not equipped with the tools that professionals have to help us.
Then I got on the right meds that gave me a “boost up”. It took a long time (years) for me to find the right NP who got me on the right regimen that enabled me to function and take that first step.
Ngl, It’s really, really, hard. There are still plenty of days that I come home from work and do nothing for hours on end.
Big factor of my stagnation was my heavy dependence on cannabis. Once I got off of it, I sort of woke up for the first time in years.
TL;DR: You gotta be the change you want to see in yourself. It’s not easy—at all. But you can do this. I believe in you. Sometimes meds are part of that change.
Most people don’t know how to help, myself included. That’s why therapy is a profession. Have you told them what they are doing is part/most of the problem? Have you asked about medication?
Also, sounds like you need some friends. Which I know is difficult to do when depressed. Hell, last friend I made was over a decade ago. But it sounds like the only people in your life are the ones making it difficult. Hard to get away from that if there’s no one else in your life.
I told them literally every little detail about my situation. I also tried medication but it didn’t help.
I think a core problem is that all they do is talk and further make you identify with these unhealthy thoughts instead of confidently and actively guiding you towards a healthy life and giving you the understanding that you need.
The second part of your comment literally hits the nail on its head and is so true! It feels impossible to escape this.
I haven’t gone to therapy but one thing I’ve heard from those that have is that you’ve got to find the right therapist for you. Identifying what is making you depressed is important, but if they aren’t helping find ways to actually deal with it then I would also struggle to see the use. If you’re still interested in therapy it may help to find a new one that pays a more active role. There’s more than one way to therapy.
I would also say, though it might be hard, you need to advocate for yourself. Tell your therapist that what you need is practical help to get out of your situation. Even your current therapist should be able to accommodate that. But it still might be worth it to find a new one because a good fit will help you more anyway.
