Broke into some noble’s house to investigate a murder and stole a bunch of stuff while I was at it, ironically yet stealthily stabbing a guard in the neck with a dagger so I wouldn’t get caught while discovering a secret chamber in the basement that led to ancient catacombs beneath the town, which ultimately led to ancient and mummified remains alongside golden chalices and crosses I absolutely pillaged and fully intend to sell for ducats, the significance of which I’m still unsure of.
Rolling up the contents of a town into a big, sticky ball.
I’ve been playing Paradox games, so I’m probably going straight to the Hague and deserving it
Bringing democracy to the wider galaxy.
Beating wild animals into submission, capturing them and putting them to work in a shack I built in the woods.
Placing a billion conveyor belts, strip mining a planet with no regard to the pollution I caused, and full scale genocide against the native bugs who already lived there.
Sorry, biters, I gotta launch my rocket.
Fishing
I didn’t realise our poaching laws were that severe
Poluting the environment with my selfbuild automated factorys and thus enrage the local bug population (wich i sadly now have to nuke)
Trafficking humans, putting them in tiny 1x1m cages where they cannot sit, force them to do cheap labour, separate their children at birth, and kill them if they are too expensive…
Fuck I love Minecraft!
I picked a bad time to close a porn game.
Spreading democracy for the glory of Super Earth!
Building a miles-long cobblestone road through mountains and over frozen rivers to a farming village from my house on a snowy plain then entering peoples homes while they sleep and cleaning them out of any food and valuables. Also crop theft.
And maybe pushing that wild pig into my fenced in pasture from the mountainside because I didn’t have any carrots to lure him in willingly.
Strip mining a planet, refining raw materials, building factories, and researching new technology. All to build a rocket to get off said planet.
Building a house in the woods without planning permission.
Turning the universe into paperclips
