I can only afford to nickel kid these days.

“It would be better if everybody got Polio Types 1, 2 & 3.”

–RFK Jr., probably

Don’t worry kids, you can just buy a degree from The Wharton School.

Snake Oil Feedback Loop achievement unlocked.

Hey Wharton School: This is why you shouldn’t sell degrees to rich parents for their spoiled children.

I hope he lives long enough to see what the history books say about him.

But always pronounce it “simular” just to sound extra smart.

TWO!

Two optimists in one Trump thread!

You people give me hope. Not much, but I’ll take anything at this point.

Found the optimist!

The plantations are quite comfortable these days…

He’s still pissed that they didn’t back him up on the Sharpie hurricane line, isn’t he?

At a time when they could actually be pushing the Manifest issue and try to finally get a foothold, instead it feels like they have scattered rakes around the yard in the middle of the night and decided to go for a jog.

Off to start their new jobs as Entertainment Directors at Mar-A-Lago.

Someone should ask Tim if they’ll start firing gay executives since they probably only got the job because they were a DEI hire, right?

Check your renewal date. Mine auto-renewed today without any prior notification that it was coming up.

God dammit, this is the worst fucking timeline I’ve tried so far.

Guess I’m going out of my way to shop at Target now.

Well…

Some things in life are bad

They can really make you mad

Not sure what the sun ever did to you to deserve that, but I find that to be too harsh (on the sun).

Cheer up, Brian!