1. Apply heavy makeup
2. Get angry at the guy to not recognize you without your heavy makeup
3. ???
4. Profit

That’s how you get maggots

Ummm I failed? I have no idea what I’m looking at

I’m dumb but what does that even mean?

I was recently thinking - is this like a real thing? Or is it more like a joke since cucumber looks the way it looks?

Have they already added commercial breaks?

Sure, but I can drive for more than 11 hours and still be in Romania 👍

I’m with you but I get it that sometimes it’s convenient. My wife likes what we call “cup recipes” in baking where everything is measured in cups/glasses (this was a new thing couple of years ago where I live). It’s very fast and convenient.

But yes, it gets out of hand. I mean “a cup of celery”? … How? Why?

9gag, they also have 816. Is this where the screenshot is from?

It’s not sad. I’m jealous

Citroen Saxo, everything was SO cheap. I remember I had to replace a side mirror and a new one was like … 30€? And I was able to do it myself.

Replacing a side mirror on my Octavia was almost 500€!

You’ve got a point. But that would mean we’re praising some low-level noob. Or maybe bro like created a new account and has got skillz but got like a new low level character

Yeah but … that is still kind of weak? I mean we are talking about personification of the creator of the universe. Like you spawn some fish to one-time feed people? Couldn’t you like create a lake for generations to come? Or something?

Also “wine from water” is like … really? You come to Earth with all your power and you solve petty problems like not enough wine at the wedding?

And for “raising a man from the dead” - Lazarus was his friend. And from the Bible it really sounds like he came to the Bethany just because he was his friend. And I look at this and wedding in Cana and … you came here to Earth just to help your friends? Really? Like could you maybe do something for humanity as a whole? With all this power … and you’re using it for petty problems and helping your friends.

Like sure, if they’re real then those trully are mirracles. But if you’re son of creator of the entire universe and life as we know it … boy are those weak, weak mirracles

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Went to the pizzeria,

Came back with gonorrhea.

Witch!

My car doesn’t want to pair with my smartphone :'(

Also let me point out one nice feature here - the freezing point is 0. Bellow it you can expect snow instead of rain, ice on the road, sidewalk, plants are in danger, etc. A lot of things and situations in your life are affected by this simple fact that water freezes so it’s nice that we have it at 0.

Fahrenheit has 32°F …

Ha ha!

nervously flips through notes

It umm … It’s nice she’s giving them some helping hand, am I right?

sweats

Sigh … “robocall”

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