At least 25 undercover police officers who infiltrated political groups formed sexual relationships with members of the public without disclosing their true identity to them, the Guardian can disclose.
The total shows how women were deceived on a systemic basis over more than three decades. It equates to nearly a fifth of all the police spies who were sent to infiltrate political movements.
One woman, known as Jacqui, has said her life was “absolutely ruined” after she discovered by chance that the father of her son was an undercover officer, more than 20 years after his birth. The officer, Bob Lambert, abandoned them when the son was an infant, claiming falsely that he had to go on the run abroad to escape being arrested by police.
Other women had intimate relationships lasting up to six years with men who concealed the fact they were undercover officers who had been sent to spy on them and their friends.
No. Just no. Stop diminishing what people who have actually been raped have gone through.
Would you consider this worse because it was years and wasn’t only physical? What word would you use to also encompass the extra trauma involved with this lie?
I can see why you would want to use a different word. Mainly to explain different scenarios of rape for people to be aware of, but I wouldn’t call it diminishing to other victims.
How about this. In one case the sex was consensual, where in the other it was not. Now put your self in the shoes of someone who was forcibly raped. Do you think they would see it as the same. These people were lied to and deceived, and that is terrible. But it many people will say it just isn’t the same level. And that diminishes rape generally. But in addition to the personal crime, it is also a crime against all of the people. Thier trust in police is erroded further. So while it is comparably terrible, a lot of people just won’t see it that way. But in their heads, when they hear rape, a small part of them will think of this and say, “that’s not so bad”.
I think both are terrible. Forcible rape (as the example you gave) is the idea that most people think of when they hear rape. There are other kinds.
I think building a life with someone and raising a child for a few years with someone, only to have that person disappear. No explanation. Just gone. That person you thought you know was an act that you spent years living with. That’s an extreme act of betrayal. I’m not sure if I would be able to get over that.
I think though that a lot of spouses lie about things early on in a relationship. Usually about things they are or are not interested in. It’s kind of part of courting. People get divorced all the time saying the other person wasn’t who they thought they were. And no one willing has a relationship with someone who will cheat on them, yet it happens. The person said they would be faithful, but they lied. This isn’t that far off really. And no one would call those things rape. They are terrible, but not the same. And they are too common place. Associating them with rape would make rape more common place. Which will reduce peoples opinions of how big a deal it is.