That, unfortunately, is why I will never suggest Lemmy to people and why it will never be a viable option for most. Maybe that will change when the absolute batshit hostility stops, but considering all the communities lost… nah.
I want to say we should start our own instance for feminists and kick anyone that acts like that. But I’m not sure what that would even look like or if it would gain traction.
I think it may be worth a shot to retry. There are trans and furry communities (which are smaller and similarly harassed populations) that seem to be thriving just fine. It’s just important to consider what instance they are formed on. Something like blahaj.zone?
The issue is that women should be free to discuss women’s issues without being harassed. And sometimes those issues include men. That’s when the harassment starts.
Hell, there was an article posted when I first joined about women-only taxi services and I went in to comment my excitement and support! Only to be greeted with some of the most vile comments and insincere, shitty discussion I’d seen in a loooong time.
I’m not ““tough”” enough to moderate my own community that would inevitably put both it & myself as a target of harassment. Not going to risk putting myself through that. I’m stressed enough as it is.
That’s a very dismissive statement, and I’m sure that Lemmy isn’t exclusively 14-year olds. Demographicly, it’s populated with grown men who should know better.
There are not enough women in the fediverse to maintain femme-centric communities.
Or maybe they rather mask a man / gender neutral. Internet is not a friendly place to have girl oriented conversations. I made the mistake to be open about my gender with this account and the odacity of people is astonishing.
The easiest way is to shut down blatent sexism you see around in posts and comments. I wouldn’t even be aggressive about it. Just a “hey, that’s not cool” and downvote.
Problem is, a lot of folks are “jokingly” sexist, while also only kinda joking? Either way, I think there’s a line, but it’s going to be different for everyone, and I’m definitely not sure that I’m the one who gets to draw it. But when women are seeing openly gross posts about women, it is very off-putting and will cause them to shun a community.
Thanks. That makes total sense. I’m pretty grossed out by most tropes so my tolerance for what’s “just joking” is minimal. I believe I do what you suggest IRL. My 8 yr old son does too. There’s a great Ted talk called feminism is a man’s problem or something that reshaped my perspective many years ago - we have to use our privileges to upstand bc only haves can give power, have nots can’t just manifest it. In any hierarchical dichotomy. I try to make space in work meetings and help people feel comfortable speaking and telling those with the privilege to be comfortable to stfu sometimes. I think the difficult part for some men (I know how those words sound together!) is reconciling wanting to help but not knowing how to ask whether it’s welcome and they fear it’ll be construed as offensive. Perhaps bc society allows boys will be boys, and they’re never taught how to communicate boundaries.
is there a fediverse version of /r/abrathatfits ?
There are not enough women in the fediverse to maintain femme-centric communities.
Most of the ones I used to be subscribed to shut down due to being abandoned/unmodded. And they turned out that way because of harassment.
It’s a huge issue that no one will address. Mostly because they will be harassed.
It sucks.
Wow, I had no idea it was like that here, that’s terrible :(
Yeah… it really is.
That, unfortunately, is why I will never suggest Lemmy to people and why it will never be a viable option for most. Maybe that will change when the absolute batshit hostility stops, but considering all the communities lost… nah.
That’s horrible.
I want to say we should start our own instance for feminists and kick anyone that acts like that. But I’m not sure what that would even look like or if it would gain traction.
My instance is welcoming to feminists. You’re welcome to create a community on the topic. I will not hesitate to kick out the jerks.
I mean, it would probably look kinda similar to blahaj.zone. With a dedicated admin team, I could see it working.
I think it may be worth a shot to retry. There are trans and furry communities (which are smaller and similarly harassed populations) that seem to be thriving just fine. It’s just important to consider what instance they are formed on. Something like blahaj.zone?
The issue is that women should be free to discuss women’s issues without being harassed. And sometimes those issues include men. That’s when the harassment starts.
Hell, there was an article posted when I first joined about women-only taxi services and I went in to comment my excitement and support! Only to be greeted with some of the most vile comments and insincere, shitty discussion I’d seen in a loooong time.
I’m not ““tough”” enough to moderate my own community that would inevitably put both it & myself as a target of harassment. Not going to risk putting myself through that. I’m stressed enough as it is.
14 year olds will always roam the internet
That’s a very dismissive statement, and I’m sure that Lemmy isn’t exclusively 14-year olds. Demographicly, it’s populated with grown men who should know better.
“There are no people here so I tell people not to come here.”
Do you see the issue?
That is clearly not why they are telling people not to come here
Or maybe they rather mask a man / gender neutral. Internet is not a friendly place to have girl oriented conversations. I made the mistake to be open about my gender with this account and the odacity of people is astonishing.
That’s what I mean.
And it should not be this way.
The fediverse vehemently defends & will happily accommodate trans folk. That’s fantastic! But they’ll be openly hostile to cis women?
It’s baffling.
Makes me think that Lemmy is not actually as progressive as they are always claiming to be.
I’m a dude. Can I help?
Yes. Always.
The easiest way is to shut down blatent sexism you see around in posts and comments. I wouldn’t even be aggressive about it. Just a “hey, that’s not cool” and downvote.
Problem is, a lot of folks are “jokingly” sexist, while also only kinda joking? Either way, I think there’s a line, but it’s going to be different for everyone, and I’m definitely not sure that I’m the one who gets to draw it. But when women are seeing openly gross posts about women, it is very off-putting and will cause them to shun a community.
Thanks. That makes total sense. I’m pretty grossed out by most tropes so my tolerance for what’s “just joking” is minimal. I believe I do what you suggest IRL. My 8 yr old son does too. There’s a great Ted talk called feminism is a man’s problem or something that reshaped my perspective many years ago - we have to use our privileges to upstand bc only haves can give power, have nots can’t just manifest it. In any hierarchical dichotomy. I try to make space in work meetings and help people feel comfortable speaking and telling those with the privilege to be comfortable to stfu sometimes. I think the difficult part for some men (I know how those words sound together!) is reconciling wanting to help but not knowing how to ask whether it’s welcome and they fear it’ll be construed as offensive. Perhaps bc society allows boys will be boys, and they’re never taught how to communicate boundaries.