Nice try, HR.
There were three women who were best friends, took their breaks together, etc. And in the Christmas season they wore matching knit sweaters and would walk down the hall side by side so it would read “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
But one day when I was leaving the break room, they approached… and one was out sick. Before I could stop myself I asked “Where’s the other Ho?”
Might’ve gotten a visit to HR from it if I hadn’t looked so shocked at myself.
Honestly, they were inviting that one upon themselves.
Worst thing in the office place was when some idiot left their window open in the middle of Winter, temps fell below 0F with high winds, and froze the 2" sprinkler pipes running over their office. Flooded most of the 2nd floor then started running through and raining out onto the 1st floor (and then into the basement). And it happened during covid lock-downs so it was fortunate anyone was even in the building to report it.
My own personal oopsie was checking network cabling in a small room, bent over to check things low and then wandered out to check elsewhere… Then noticed there was a LOT of commotion on the sales floor. Turns out I hit the power switch on one of the phone cabinets with my ass and shut down half the phone lines.
Did you own up to it or just turn it back on?
Oh I came clean. We were actually trying to figure out HOW it happened so we could try and prevent the same issue in the future.
“no thicc booties allowed in here” sign
“Attention, trailer swings out!”
Accidentally hitting reply-to-all on a company wide email and more or less stating that I wanted to be transferred to another team.
There was a new team forming elsewhere, and in fairness, it was a great opportunity in a lot of ways. But… I didn’t get the transfer until another batch of jobs opened a few months later.
That… was a long few months.
I didn’t actually delete the data but for a solid 1min I thought I had deleted an entire production db of data.
I made a delete then I hit refresh and nothing came. I refreshed again and no records panic started to set in and I refreshed again and still no records. I knew that changes replicated over to our quick backup every min so I picked up the phone and when the guy answered I said I need you to turn off the replication right now I think I just deleted the ministry of health.
After a bit of troubleshooting it turns out the data was fine and my delete worked as intended. The issue was in my client and we checked a few things then gave up. I went for a long lunch after that.
The biggest actual mistakes I’ve done were all caught by a really good manager i had and so I can’t even remember them because they never blew up.
Most recent, but not the absolute worst, was ripping my pants at work. I bent down to pick something up and heard the rip. It was over my crotch region too. Thankfully I had boxers on but was still pretty embarrassed.
Thankfully my boss was cool about it and I just drove over to Costco down the street and got a new pair and changed in the back of my car. He make a joke when I got back which was fine.
The one I still feel guilt over was a time when i found out someone had left an animal trap loaded when they left for vacation. There was a live raccoon in it. I know I shouldn’t’ve carelessly opened it, but I should’ve done something. Even killing it would’ve been kinder. I carry that one with me, to remind me to act when I can. I’m still bad at it, but I try.
The other day I told a customer I could smell gas in her apartment, and even though I feel like a dumbass because it wasn’t a leak (probably lingering smell from them moving an appliance and hitting it on and off by accident), I don’t regret mentioning it. Sometimes I just am going to be an obnoxious jackass about that stuff.
I recently had a gas leak scare. Originally thought it was plumbing. They checked for gas leaks with a tool and found nothing. No obvious plumbing problems. We called the fire department the next time we smelled it to be safe. No gas leak but a bad car battery being charged was releasing a sulfur smell and about to catch fire.
Tripped and dropped a box, worth approximately $220,000 today, of extremely precise tooling meant for a cutting die. I was on my way to my bench to wrap them up safely. Boss was not pleased that day.
First I was like wow, then I started to count how many zero’s there came afterwards. Ouch that hurts.
Missing my first shift at a large retail store because of a misunderstanding. When I showed up the next week, the manager was furious. Not the best start
Pushed to prod
A put a hole in the side of a helicopter that left it grounded for a week.
I accidentally tapped it with another piece of the helicopter. I’m happily working on helicopters that are made of metal now, so no more of that nonsense.
Edit: also, honorable mention because it wasn’t my fault, but I made a helicopter drop an external fuel tank when it took off… by replacing a light bulb. It was on the button that makes the helicopter drop the external tanks, but there are failsafes so it will only do it in the air. Apparently the internal switch got stuck, so the second the weight was off of the wheels CLONK… and a tank was laying on the active runway. Excellent.
At 7 years of age I was collecting the grass coming out of my neighbours lawnmower. I was tossing it in the air at my dog who was having great fun jumping into the air catching it.
Cue my neighbour running over my foot with his lawnmower. I didn’t feel much pain as it shredded straight through my runner and skin.
I was rushed to hospital and somehow they saved my toe. It took about five years for me to regain feeling in it.
Edit: oh I missed the word “work”.
Tripped and hit my arm on the maple syrup canning machine that heats a water jacket to 200 f and got a 2 inch diameter blister.
Was working in a deli department of a grocery store. I think it was my second or third week there, and i was slicing balogna for a customer. Went to peel some of the casing off and got the tip of my thumb instead. Still think the lady who unkindly yanked my stitches out at the urgent care caused the lil flap to come off. It was 2009 and I’m actually impressed i got some tactile feeling back through the scar. I swear it fucks with the touch screen though.
I worked in a deli without protective gloves and am lucky I have all my fingers.
You know how the end of the meat or cheese would sometimes not fall through the slicer? Well, one time it just got stuck. I absentmindedly reaching in and flicked it out. With the blade on. It’s a good damn miracle I didn’t hit it.
- Put down a bottle of bleach a little too quickly, a little spurt splashed exactly straight up out of it when it hit the floor and somehow hit me right in the eye. Washed it out in the sink and finished my shift with my eye bright red, instead of, IDK, going to the fucking doctor like I probably should have, because I was young and exploitable.
- Not me but a coworker: Found a handgun in our customer’s stuff, started messing around with it. You know the punchline. The bullet went through a few walls, cops got called, he made up some story about how it went off on its own while still in the cabinet which no one believed, somehow still didn’t get in legal trouble. He got fired over the phone before he had even left the customer’s premises.
- Got hired to a startup to fix the intranet slowness, started work as everyone was leaving, instantly fucked the router and broke the network completely for the whole floor, couldn’t fix it for hours and stayed there in a panic until about 3-4 in the morning when I finally figured it out, and fixed the network and the slowness both. Never told them anything except the ending, and they liked my work and hired me full time.
- Fucked the partition table to the main production server and my boss who was sitting right next to me had a mini panic attack while I reconstructed it from my notes and all the filesystems came back. Keep a notebook, it’ll save your ass.
Haha loved N.3
How old was the guy in N.2? Sounds like such a dumb kid thing to do
Maybe 20 years old. He was waving it around at the other guys on the job, too, joking around with it. He was lucky he didn’t kill someone and have to live with it for the rest of his life.
My dad told me when I was a kid: If you’re ever in that situation, just stand up and leave. Don’t say hey don’t do that. Don’t wait around and hope everything is okay. Don’t start joking around about it too. Just don’t say a word, stand up, walk out of the building, go somewhere else, the end.
Your dad gave you some solid advice.
