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Cake day: January 26th, 2024

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  • Ex-Army infantry guy here.

    In basic training, location Ft. Benning GA, late August. Hydration was important, and that was impressed upon us by the drill sergeants, who would pause the activity at hand for the moment and do the ‘Drink Water!’ call, to which we’d reply mostly in uninspired enthusiasm ‘Beat the heat drill sergeant beat the heat.’

    We’d then down a canteen (a quart) of water. On especially hot days, we’d do two canteens. No dumping on your head or on the ground - you had to finish one or both. We’d refill canteens and get back to the day’s task of doing push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, and in-between those, learning Army stuff (sir).

    One guy, Peterson (name changed), couldn’t do a canteen of water. This guy was the opposite of Joey Chestnut. He ate and drank like a bird but never lost weight. Slow metabolism and high energy conversion I guess. He never seemed dehydrated I would say. But water and food were just minimal for the guy. He’d drink a pint, maybe a sip more, and done.

    Our drill sergeants weren’t having that. You had to finish the canteen and flip it over your head. Failure to comply was met with drinking more water, until you finished the canteen, while your platoon did push-ups. No pressure.

    The rest of the story transpired really quickly.

    The drill sergeants hit him with the order to drink more water, and he did, and he stopped, and then they said keep going private, and he was in obvious pain, and he said no drill sergeant, and you could see the crinkle in the eyes of the questioned, but before that drill sergeant’s body language became verbal, Peterson puked up water, gallons of water it seemed, then breakfast, and the upper contents of his colon I’m pretty sure (j/k being illustrative). A medic, who just happened to be Starship Trooping on by, got on the horn and got the kid to a clinic. He was water intoxicated, we later found out.

    One of the great things they forget to show you on the recruitment brochure lol. He was eventually fine, and we were relegated to drinking until we could spit out saliva a few inches.


















  • Bookstores especially are the absolute worst. I’m not paying 39.99 full cover price of the latest Stephen King book at your local business when Amazon is selling it for 18.99.

    Y u no use library? It’s free. Sure, you might have to wait a while. But again, free. Plus other free stuff. Movies, games, everything.

    But, who paid for the library? I guarantee you it’s local residents and local businesses. The Amazons and the Targets and the Walmarts of the world are very, very much involved in avoiding taxes as much as possible, be it the overturned dark store loophole or asking for tax incremental financing districts to force communities to sacrifice their property taxes for the convenience of the Big Box Store, Inc.

    Isn’t it funny how the newest local big-box store always causes property taxes to RISE instead of fall? Huh. Weird.

    Your local business on Main St. is there for a reason. Let’s take your bookstore. That owner has faced Amazon, the pandemmer, rising utility costs, worker shortages, road construction, tax hikes, and several other things I’m not thinking of. But when the local soccer club needs a $25 gift card donated for a raffle and Amazon tells them to get bent (if they even reply at all) you know that local bookstore owner will still do it.

    Why?

    It’s pride in the local community. It’s a sense of belonging. It’s knowing that the dollars you just spent in that bookstore are going right back into your community one way or another. Amazon ain’t gonna build you a new playground if the old one is destroyed in a tornado (hell, they don’t even protect their own employees during a tornado!). Amazon ain’t gonna close shop for a week or weekend and pitch in on the build. Amazon isn’t going to build a customer relationship with you. Hell, even Amazon’s customer service agents are OOPS…ALL BOTS these days.

    So yeah, the book you want costs extra, and you’re broke. In that case, get what you can for cheaper where you can get it. There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Hell, go one step further and look for used. Why buy new at all?

    But I know if I go to Pete at the local bookstore, he’ll be putting that money right back into the local economy.