This might sound counter-intuitive but - tell your therapist exactly this.

That you don’t feel heard (ideally, why that is), how you feel about her stance on medication, that you’re tired of therapy and don’t know how to benefit of it right now (maybe coupled with what beneficial would look like to you) and whatever else is in your head in regards to this session.

This may seem confrontational, but it really isn’t (or doesn’t have to be). It is providing crucial information to a professional about where your head is at in regards to the therapeutic process the both of you (ostensibly) want to start together. It will help her understand where you’re coming from and maybe her reaction will help you get a better feel for if you are indeed a good fit, or not.

I wish you good luck!

Hey, I’ve read your words, and I feel for you.

It seems like you’re caught in an impossible situation - having to work to keep insurance, and not being able to reduce workload without jeopardizing that, worsening the burnout either way. I’m sorry it’s so hard right now.

I would share my own burnout and recovery experience with you to maybe help, but the “getting better” I was able to achieve so far is entirely due to a looong paid medical leave (about 1 year), a 6-week low-intensity in-patient program and the space for transformation that gave me, and I don’t think I could’ve done it this way while continuing to work or support a family. I don’t say that to put salt in your wound, I just want to express that getting better is basically like getting another job - it requires ressources and time and energy. If you absolutely cannot take a break, then please be gentle with yourself if it takes you a lot longer than this to get better. Also, for full disclosure, while I’m now back to normal, my “normal” actually entails being chronically low-level depressed and not being able to consistently function in many ways considered normal for an adult (hence my being on this sub), so it would feel a bit phony to pretend to have the answer.

However, I have one recommendation that might be helpful. I’m not sure if you have the capacity for it, but I really benefitted from the book “Burnout” by Emily and Amelia Nagoski ([https://www.burnoutbook.net/](their website)). It’s not a cure-all and not ADHD-specific, but it is a great guide to explain how stress works and how to really cope with it, especially on a physical level. It’s great for perspective and concrete exercises, and a pretty good read.

I sincerely wish you some peace and room to breathe, somehow!

I have received the result of my ADHD diagnostics, and did not receive the diagnosis for various reasons. Those reasons are valid when viewed through the lense of a diagnostician and I understand why the decision is being made that way. But I still do have many of the symptoms and problems in every day life, which fit the bill (also according to the diagnostics, but that’s not enough), and the alternative explanation they offered is basically ineffable due to lack of research, and in practice this just means that I will not have access to med treatment, even though they might still be helpful. In truth, I think I’m mostly disappointed that I cannot benefit from the well-established treatment protocol for ADHD, and don’t know how hopeful I can now be to get a handle on my life at any point in the future.

I don’t stand alone in this, my therapist is still going to give me a cognitive-behavioural training designed to help with executive function deficits. And I have already learned, that I’m allowed to stay 'round here even without the label. :)

But together with some other stressful stuff happening, I’m not doing so well, I think.

Thanks :)

Which text are you referring to? Sounds interesting!

Yes, she is! I personally am just so glad I could help at all and not have her watch go through that ordeal by herself… and to have managed to make a significant difference for her, she says. That doesn’t always happen when trying to help and support, and I am so happy that this time, it did :)

I feel fantastic right now - in the last week, I have hyper focussed for several days to help a dear friend prepare for a court date (the kind of task that has “important/interesting to me” and “urgent” written all over it), and due to our preparation, it went really well for her. And I am happy, relieved and quite proud of us - while also feeling completely trashed from overtaxing my physical ressources in the process.

Absolutely worth it, though. I will, however, now take a break of several days.

There’s a difference between signalling the brain to release its own dopamine and taking external dopamine. (Important note: All of this is a simplification, I am not an expert!)

The first could be done with drugs (legal and illegal) or other dopamine-stimulating activities with instant rewards, and it absolutely has the ability to change our reasoning (like “Oh yeah, I’ll definitely feel better if I sit motionlessly for hours scrolling memes I don’t even find that funny, and should not, as logic and knowledge dictates, maybe go outside and move my body a little, because that won’t feel as good (doesn’t release as much dopamine)”). So here, the answer is yes, totally. Which is why for example ADHD medication tries to effect an easier release of dopamine to make it easier on the brain-carrier to make different choices, away from instant reward towards delayed gratification.

For the second thing - dopamine’s precursor, L-Dopa, is the straightest way to actually add more dopamine to the brain (since dopamine itself can not pass the blood-brain-barrier, but L-dopa can and is then synthesized into dopamine), which is done in Parkinson’s patients and helps them tremendously. Interestingly however, if you overdose it, you can fall into a drug-induced psychosis, a state in which one could argue that logic and reasoning are indeed affected, so that’s another yes, but not in the way you mean, I think.

In conclusion, brain neurotransmitter chemistry is pretty complicated, but interesting, and the answer to the question if changing something about it will lead to different ways of thinking is very often yes, which is why medicine is doing it :)

I wanted to let you know that your story resonated deeply with me. We had a similar family dynamic in parts (esp. the teaming up by apparent neurotypes), only nobody is officially diagnosed (I’m still waiting for results), which made it even harder to make sense of for a long time. So I feel for you!

During my university years especially, I also struggled heavily with keeping up with household stuff, which made me quite the unpopular flat mate… it’s a huge source of shame for me, and still affects me to this day (though I’d like to believe I’ve gotten better).

Thank you for sharing, even if it is uncomfortable, it made me feel less alone with these experiences - so please don’t feel like you have to apologize :)

4-5 / 0-1 / 4-5 / 0-1, repeated for at least 1 minute, better 5 minutes or more. (not too deep or light-headedness can happen)

This is resonance frequency breathing (at round about 0,1 Hz) which maximizes heart rate variability and activates the baroreflex (blood pressure). It’s usually used with a HRV biofeedback device to find the best individual breathing frequency, but it’s not strictly necessary. Just find the speed around these marks that feels good (without feeling like you’re out of breath or getting dizzy). Breath into your belly.

There’s tons of studies for its effects, but mostly it activates your vagal control, and thus tones down anxiety, can help with depression and PTSD symptoms when done regularly, and also helps with high blood pressure, can make recovery after heart surgery easier, is used in professional sports, may help with IBS etc. Look for papers on “HRV biofeedback effects”, if you’re interested.

The most immediate effect I personally have is feeling both more relaxed and more alert, similar to after meditation.

I’ve been using ChatGPT to find inspiration for greeting cards (for birthday, wedding etc.) for people I don’t know that well.