Yes. Also your math checks out.

“Will you join wheat thins in the fight against lime disease?”

This makes me so irrationally angry. Where I live it’s usually just 12 year old kids on the bus who forgot headphones but still want to listen to the narration of the world’s shittiest tiktok videos rather than reading the captions. It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine.

You have no idea how careful I was every time I typed it out lol

Is there a Lemmy equivalent of r/wooosh

Poor explanation. No images of non-birds for comparison.

Hell, Michigan lol

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. I’m trying to stay close to my mom, and she’s desperately trying to hold the family together, so if I don’t do anything, he would play the victim and use my mom’s hurt feelings against me. So I’m most likely going to just do something very generic, like you said.

It would be beautiful to donate to the local pride center in his name and just watch him seethe. That’s such a perfect idea, since if he actually voices a complaint, he knows it makes him the asshole.

Pure evil.

Hey that would be easy, he hates football!

That’s the goal. There’s some drama right now that makes that really hard, but within a couple years that’s where we’re headed.

Lol I love it

Hm… getting him more work, I love it.

Yeah my wife loved the smell in the aisle, but it got old really fast at home lol

Yeah I’ve thought about just doing a few candy bars or something. I think the sunk cost fallacy has kicked in, so I almost want to go higher effort but bad lol

Hm… I wonder if Walmart still has watermelon scented candles. “But dad, it smells just like summer!”

My wife suggested “number one sad” with a card explaining that he was, in fact, my first dad lol

Ooh I like this. Especially since he hates strong smells.

That would be especially funny because he’s Mormon, and he’s very upset I’m not.