General Mills added unicorn marbits in 2018, so this sounds appropriate!

If you are a trans am you should abstain in the general election. Because you are a car. And cars can’t vote. But I’m sure the supreme court is working on fixing that.

You can tell it is fake because no human would tie up the tent door flaps using the little nylon fettuccine thingies they sew onto each side

I prefer the phrase ‘giving a dump’, because I sure don’t seem to be taking anything away from the transaction.

Alas I have digressed. I too indulged in the literary expositions of the shampoo bottle. Conditioner only on Fridays.

I have become so desensitized to the festering dumpster sludge media that the window treatment shocks me the most in this picture

I operate in el camino reálity. Miss me with that ranchero and canyonero nonsense.

Pre-1980s canvas camping tent … now with more leaks!

If I am not mistaken, according to the grammatical scrolls, having a chin makes everyone … chinese

Yo dawg, we heard you like engine braking so we gave you engine breaking in your engine braking!

See kids, that’s what happens when you brake too hard.

Ok, keep your secrets. I’m just so tired of being a disappointment to others.

Another, there is.

Frakkin Cylons! I knew it!

Say, where can I get some of those square rocks, for uh, reasons?

You may attract python too!

Car companies cry in bankrupt

Look at the high falootin rich folks throwin away a perfectly good retread like that.

Now, therefore, as president I shall urge the Congress to enact the Writ of Habeas Dorkus, requiring a person under the influence of cerebral diarrhea to be brought before some type of human greater than 4 and one-half years of age, especially to secure the person’s sufficient mental competence to be able to wipe their own ass without first tuning in to the TV for guidance, specific instruction, and moral support.

It’s just recliner theater, I tell ya!