Whenever I’m asked to fill out a survey, I always just copy and paste the entire text of Dante’s Inferno from Project Gutenberg.

One is a goofy pop culture icon from the early 2000s with a reputation for kindness and professionalism, and the other is Ellen DeGeneres.

Watch out, they might “prank” you by tormenting a homeless person or something

I long to be out there, with my brothers, waging war against the Empire

Oh hi Mark 1:15

What we need is an ad blocker that replaces all ads with turtles

Surely this AAA-budget live service game with a terrible premise won’t faceplant immediately and force us to close the studio…but let’s make it an MMO, just to be safe.

But they were all of them deceived, for another handmaiden was made…

Does the potion have a wait-list and cost $350 per draught?

Sounds like a rogue black hole

You’re not old until the music you don’t consider old becomes old.

I had to dissect a bunch of things in high school: a frog, a pig fetus, a cow heart, a cat… I’m still not entirely sure what the intent was. “Yup, the brain is in the right spot. Always good to check, just in case.”

If they want to teach kids knife skills they should do so in home ec. At least make something edible.

Sorry, best we can do is a premium (expensive) ad-free tier that still advertises our own products.

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Man, dimly-lit scenes have been a pet peeve of mine for years. Every time Law & Order is on, I can’t help yelling “turn a light on!” at the screen. Maybe they’d be able to solve the murder faster if they could actually see shit.

Honestly, I’m not familiar enough with the world of faxing to know which apps are trustworthy, especially since the documents contained personal information. If I ever have to send another fax, I’ll consider it.

I recently had to fax a document to the government, which meant I had to print the thing, then pay $12 at OfficeMax to send it. Absolute bedlam.

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