I’m only alive because successfully killing myself is hard. Bernadette, she/her, smash bros addict, dog person, work addict, ruined beyond repair, stuck in the past. I will defend Amazon and Nintendo like they’re the parents I never had. They did, and will do, nothing wrong, ever.

  • 15 Posts
  • 38 Comments
Joined 2 months ago
Cake day: November 11th, 2024
  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.worksOPtoYou Should Know@lemmy.world•YSK that if you weren't raised as a child you could ask ChatGPT about the things you were never taught.English
    18·
    8 days ago

    I’ve spent my whole life being less human than AI and less human than a street rat. “People” has only been used to describe me without saying my name within family and friend groups. “I want to play some games but I don’t want to play with People. What should I tell People to make People go away?” I’m scum trying to come off as a human to make enough money to retire early so I can Just Go Away without making myself a much bigger burden by failing a suicide attempt.

    Most people are normal people whose parents raised them for success and actually spent time with them. Normal people who will feel “loss” when family dies. I still don’t get how it’s anything more than spilled milk. Can’t you just find someone else to replace them? Anyway, they all have the same experiences and views and can relate to each other. I have nothing. I am nothing.

    The people who went through similar experiences will make fun of me for still smelling bad despite how hard I try to be clean, and assume it’s only because I play video games and don’t shower. AI would treat anyone with respect, including me.

  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.worksOPtoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•Should parents be allowed to euthanize their children if they have a diagnosis that just isn't worth dealing with?English
    131·
    8 days ago

    Even though I was misdiagnosed, I would have benefited from being “wrongfully” euthanized than to live as the scum beneath my family’s shoes, having to learn basic hygiene and just about everything else on my own (while having to hide it from family since trying to be clean and mature is funny), and being in a “school” that educated me with YouTube videos while teaching me that my comfort doesn’t matter and to let anyone do whatever they want to me regardless of whether I like it or not. Fighting off a creepy stalker who copied everything I did and cornered me in the restroom made me the problem. She’s not a creep, I just don’t like. But letting another kid touch and try to rape me without reporting it (because why would someone care about something you Just Don’t Like) also made me the problem.

    To this day I just tell everyone I don’t remember anything before Three Houses came out. I barely do anyway. I have no childhood memories, no family, no childhood friends, no pictures, nothing. Because while everyone else got to navigate their neighborhood and actually grow as children and teenagers, I sat on a short bus for 2 hours, in the same desk for 7 hours, then on the short bus for another 2.5 hours to go lie in bed and be out of sight like a good kid. I should have just died.