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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • I mean, be conscious of your needs, but anyone saying “you’re too sensitive” is pretty much universally an unhealthy person to be around unless there’s some real nuance to the situation. It means they’re dismissing your emotional reactions as unreasonable or otherwise not worth respecting and that’s basically abuse 101.

    Find people who get you and accept you as you are. If there’s something about yourself that you struggle with, work on coping techniques and the like, but ultimately anyone who doesn’t respect you is going to abuse or hurt you even if it’s unintentional on their part. It’s why we’re several times more likely to be abused than neurotypical people: we’re constantly told that we’re being unreasonable and we tend to be far more accepting of others than they are of us, often ignoring abuse because we’re taught to internalize self-hatred from a young age. At least that’s my perspective as an autistic person with C-PTSD and a heck of a lot of trauma related to this sort of thing exactly.

    The correct response to someone seeming sensitive or expressing a boundary is acceptance and respect, possibly followed by discussion on those terms when it’s not urgently in need of addressing. Ignoring boundaries is almost always either abusive or neglectful. Slips are going to happen, of course, but “you’re too sensitive” is an intentional attempt to dismiss your boundaries, not a slip barring exceptional circumstance.


  • I think that would be useful! I also think that anyone putting that much work in should look into hosting their own server, because they’ve already done the hardest part of hosting a server in the fediverse. A big part of the issue is that a lot of ActivityPub apps don’t really have granular enough customization baked in to support that sort of thing just yet; you can get some apps that do that on the user side, but anything on the server/community side is usually just “block all” or nothing. The admin of my Mastodon instance is always complaining that he can’t just hide certain instances from the “all” tab without blocking then entirely, and he just wants to hide them so they don’t overwhelm the server, not block them from showing up for people who choose to interact with them.


  • Honestly, I’ve seen the Fediblock thing on Mastodon, and it’s…pretty terrible. A whole lot of minority groups get targeted disproportionately by that stuff, especially by misinformation about their instances. The answer is really to leave instances if you disagree with moderation policies and the admins won’t listen, and to join instances that are philosophically aligned with you, because unlike in a centralized/capitalist model, this actually works at cultivating a community that you can engage with in a healthy manner. If not, and you go with something like Fediblock/the one big blocklist site, you’re just gonna end up with most instances that serve 2SLGBTQIA+ people getting blocked or having more harmful misinformation spread about them. Hell, if a lot of Lemmy had its way, anything but being capitalist and pro-USA would be banned.

    But also, a lot of clients can subscribe to feeds already. ActivityPub is pretty great at cross compatibility with Mastodon and the like. You just subscribe to someone who uses a microblogging platform based on ActivityPub and it’ll show up in your feed.