We need something that isn’t THE internet, and is only accessible if you have the patience and knowledge to connect to it.

That kinda does exist it’s just that you and I lack either the knowledge or patience to connect to it.

Google ended up giving up the fight on SEO to save money and let their own search tools degrade in quality.

I really miss when search engines were properly good.

“Donald Smells” is actually a better fit than “Donald Trump smells” and is probably clear enough with the context of th rest of the song. You could easily include a line about how “Trump” is longstanding British slang for “fart” though and then you get both names in.