They’d be looking up bible verses and calling him the antichrist.

Edit: oh wait…

It’s not done going down yet.

The president hurt itself in its confusion.

Sure the cult does, but the dictatorship they left doesn’t fizzle out.

This is the first I’m being made aware of this feature! My first ones will be anime and moe

I just panic bought a new phone, after realizing mine probably won’t make it a year.

Heyyyy uhhh Raytheon, you gonna do something? Boeing? Actually Boeing probably accidentally will.

Huh, I have like, 35 cousins in Lubbock.

Anyways. I might call in to work tomorrow, stating my perineum hurts, and that I may have pulled or strained it.

My town has this, they turn it into compost and sell it. Which is why getting cigarette butts in there is a good size fine.

That doomsday clock is a lot more quiet than I expected it to be.

Yeah, he doesn’t give a fuck about Russia. He’s bringing them back to use on us.

I was sent to the other end of the planet because of it, I remember.

Or smaller nations that need to find new supply lines.

I’m so sick of potatoes. Why do potatoes get shoved down our throat for every single meal?

I read that as “secret labotomy” and just thought that it depends where you do it, how long it remains secret.

Cause ya know, flares haven’t existed for over a hundred years or anything.

Americans do this too. Trash panda, chicken tendies.

Doom loops are my favorite part of a balanced breakfast.

As if I needed a new fetish.

Batteries get damaged quickly if they overheat, losing efficiency and capacity. Leave your laptop in your car in July for a full day of work and report back.