That last one just seems like a kink

I will be sad to hear of your passing when you decide to inject one whole weed

I’m struggling to think of good stuff to praise him for.

Using pounds to infinity, but not stones, is like measuring everything in grams only.

People have no work ethic these days, they won’t even work for the exposure anymore.

True, but the feeling of superiority would be like no other

I wish I could have been there so I could also film a shitty version on my phone, rather than experiencing it.

But that obviously couldn’t be trusted because Stanley Kubrick, or something.

I heard getting impeached is a positive these days.

Hey, man. Why do you hate dolphins so much that you want aliens to kill another 10,000?

If you can’t tell, better safe than sorry, get your wallet out. It could be your eternal soul on the line.