That poor guy’s prison wallet must be tapped out by now.

My sister in law and I got a package of Star Wars Oreo cookies and went through the package to see all the characters on said cookies. We had a blast because we’re a couple of joyful dorks. This guy gets it.

It’s like a “Where’s Waldo”. The longer you look at it the more weird shit you see.

DEI turned me into a newt!

Depends on if they’re going to abduct me or just shoot me.

I’m honestly having a hard time processing that sentence.

Where do they keep their money? Mattress? Jam jars buried in the garden?

Cat.

Don’t give them any ideas.

Pictured: The moment everything went off the fucking rails. (2016, colorized)

I generally try not to read them either. I have elementary age kids. Before I had kids I owned a handgun and would go to the range but when the kids came along the gun had to go. There’s no level of risk other than zero that’s acceptable to me in this regard.

Just tell her she’s there to install the border lasers.

I WFH and I do the “business mullet”. Acceptable shirt + pajama pants. Business on top, nap on the bottom.

I work in training and development and almost had a stroke today when someone showed me some new material for new hires that essentially said, ‘to get promoted you should volunteer to do more work’. Uh, no. We’re not asking people to work for free, take that out. Forget it ever existed. Fucks sake.

Cat.

Sparkling water tastes like when your foot falls asleep.

Yay harm reduction!

Oh look at this guy with his fancy fridge that just gives away water!

They’re the only culture some people have.

I can’t believe he didn’t see this coming.