The thieves that get arrested vs the thieves that end up on magazines celebrating their theft.

The most exploited people are also the least likely to report it because they’re afraid of losing what little employment they have.

Does not have AI powered shit by default either which is another huge plus.

God is either omnipotent and a dick for making you suffer anyhow or […]

Probably this one. God is canonically a dick in the bible, between “testing” that one guy’s faith by telling him to kill his son, between killing humans to full on genocide on many occasions to killing everything everywhere that one time. Even Jesus has his cringe moments, like when he killed a tree because it wasn’t producing fruit which he took as an act of rebellion against God, despite trees not being conscious (he should know, he made the damn things) and therefore not being able to rebel against anything.

Also, if you’re omnipotent, why even have a tree of knowledge in the Garden of Eden in the first place? Especially if you know that Satan will tempt the humans to eat from it (he’s omniscient is he not?) and the humans you created absolutely will eat from it. God is like one of those Sims players that deliberately create dangerous situations for the sims only he gets really mad when they predictably fall into the trap he set.

Ironically things like that absolutely get covered up by the media.

There are conspiracies that the earth is flat too. Humans can be profoundly stupid.

Damn cathode ray tubes crashing into bridges!

There are still freeways even in the top secret underground Illuminati city. Seems about right for America.

Also, court jesters.

I could probably hold my own against a tardigrade.

Some of the larger dog breeds even weigh more than the average human

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“Then you’ll be fired.”

“Fine!”

“Out of a canon into the sun.”

More like deliberately crippled by the private freight railroads that own the tracks. Ones that the government bailed out multiple times mind you, yet they’re shamelessly resisting the government’s attempts to provide a public service.

Maillard reaction is pretty awesome

The Mr. Beast of chemistry

Ok if your ad uses TL;DR or any other internet speak, you deserve to go bankrupt. I’m so fucking sick of corporations trying to cash in on meme culture and trends and ruining it every single time.

We also don’t talk about the fact that the only humans that were saved was a family. Who repopulated the earth.

Like, with Adam and Eve and their offspring, the implication is that they inbred because literally no other humans existed. Still pretty gross, but the second time it happened was just abject laziness on God’s part. Like your omnipotent ass couldn’t have at the very least picked a few more families.

According to all known laws of aviation

Dunning Kruger curve. The people who know the least about a topic speak the most confidently about it.