“Special Advisor to Mr. Musk” or “Assistant to the Assistant to President Trump”

More about relationship cooling, but close.

500 Days of Summer

From R to D, maybe?

Or no longer innocent.

I’d watch a papillon noire.

Probably refers to “balm of Gilead” (a sort of “universal cure” reference), but it’s gonna bring up images of red-robed reproductive slaves and Christo-fascism for most people.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balm_of_Gilead

StackAmbulance issue closed as duplicate of 536577. -5 points.

It means that there’s an expected setup, then a twist. Trump’ sons engaged in bribery? Check. It’s easy to believe. The subversion happens when we get to the method of payment. We expected unmarked bills or a fraudulent wire transfer, but we got children’s snacks, which reframes the whole situation as if they’re two kids in a trenchcoat.

If you remember Rudy Giuliani giving a speech at a landscaping company parking lot, you may remember hilarious news titles referencing the Four Seasons. They were particularly Onion-y, because we expected Rudy Giuliani to spew lies at a press conference, which often happens in hotel conference centers. The Four Seasons hotel would be a reasonable place for the whole thing to go down. He probably announced the location, then found out he couldn’t book the hall. Making lies about the election in the Four Seasons Landscaping parking lot across from a sex toy store? Hilarious. It sounds like comedy, but it’s reality.

Expectation: “Biden funds Israeli war efforts” The subversion is that the Onion title reads between the lines, ignoring normal journalistic nothing-speak to say the quiet part out loud. These each hint at a bit of actual truth, but rather than simply being outlandish (which is our current baseline), these Onion titles all add something to name it now ridiculous. A bribe in child snacks? The bribe is what’s expected. The snacks are the unexpected, making the whole thing funny.

Biden doesn’t generally say the quiet part out loud, so that’s the joke. The specificity of the Florida law is what’s funny, not the fact that they make backwards, misogynist laws. The briefcase is also too on the nose. We know they bribe people, but that headline is slapstick comedy.

It’s a fine line, admittedly, but those headlines do read like jokes to me.

A lot of these should be onion-y, but are not because the bar is so low. Trump being hypocritical? That’s to be expected. It can’t be onion-y because it doesn’t subvert expectations in any way.

Listen to Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi while singing this song. You’re welcome.

You forgot the inflection. “Pre👆🏻SENting to the emergency room…”

I mean, it’s not “funny haha” throughout, but it’s great double-edged satire.

It did make me laugh out loud when the punchline showed up at the very end (the title of the short film in Comic Sans).

Earl Grey, hot, nothing added.

Health insurance is a scam. American healthcare is atrocious. Stochastic terrorism is never okay. Don’t you dare claim that it is.

You gotta use colons. Then it’s pretty easy.

Let this be a warning, kids. Tats like this are a gateway. Don’t think that he can hide behind a mask forever. Don’t follow his route.

Has someone being awkward or a bit weird ever dissuaded you from having romantic interest in them?