I made a sweater!

1. They’re ugly as sin.
2. They’re scary as shit when you happen across one in the dark and it hisses at you with its pointy teeth and glowing eyes.
3. I left my car parked in a lot at work overnight, and in the morning it wouldn’t start. A possum had climbed up under the hood and chewed clean through a bundle of wires that apparently was most of the electrical system. It was so stupid that it wouldn’t leave even when I poked it with a stick. That car never ran again.

My sister had a long-haired tortie named Artemis! She was a little freak. Hope your Artemis is a little saner!

Maybe people would be more willing to fund science research if all experimental results were reported like this!

I hope Ned feels better soon!

Greebles. They’re often on the ceiling at our house.

“She had six strong legs and it frightened me. She had insect eyes but I could still see that the look she gave him you give to me.”

Why would he want to? The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

I had a cat that was maybe 6 or 7 years old when she suddenly started having seizures. After a seizure, she’d be wobbly for a few days, then eventually back to normal… until it happened again. Vet couldn’t figure out what was going on. We decided to try to track when she had the seizures—was it when she ate something out of the ordinary, got exposed to something unusual, on a recurring schedule? That sort of thing. We quickly found out that within a day or two of giving her a dose of Frontline flea treatment (the kind you drip on the back of their neck) she’d have a seizure. We stopped giving her Frontline and she never had another seizure.

We have one. The cat likes it, and we love it. Super-easy to empty.

—Oh, we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.

—That’s as may be, but it’s still a frog!

—What else?

—Well, don’t you even take the bones out?

—If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy, would it?