Yeah and better, I didn’t feel like putting the work. Great words right there.

Humanity fucking rocks, lets shoot some shit

I hate anime but I enjoyed mad max fury road. It lets you appreciate innate insanity of surviving as a human that’s only temporarily suppressed by advanced civilization goodies. 9 meals away my friend, 9 meals away

Humans are fundamentally crazy and I love it. We detonate massive amounts of explosives in the sky once a year?? for some reason, just cause we can. 12:00 at new years eve is the essence of humanity. Louder, brighter, higher, make it visible from the cosmos

We invented nukes for some reason which crazily is a fundament of global peace. WTF

There are no crazier motherfuckers in Milky Way I bet my car on that

yeah blah blah blah but honestly… we are humans, we do crazy shit daily like driving 200 kph in a metal can while blasting rave or metal music. If something goes out in flames just say that new years eve came in early - if you are still alive. Life isn’t for the faint of heart for sure

well I have only myself and my view. I can just say what I think. I am sure there are many other. I am sure there are many tragedies over the world. I don’t have any effect on that. I cannot control that.

I don’t think there’s any advice here even other than just declaration of my experience.

What I am curious about though is how it differs and that’s why I present it and look for another and see how it all fits together in the grand scheme of things to better understand.

I am convinced that when I am anonymously honest on the web, I can sometimes grow or discover new things. That I add something valuable to myself and maybe someone else.

I am just built like this to never give up and I know that subconsciously. I thought that maybe it can be transplanted but it probably can’t as it isn’t learned but it was present since forever even through the worst and I look forward to any trials confident that they cannot crush me. There is nothing that can. This is how I function and live, this surety makes me able to fulfill basic functions and demands and prevents breaking even when my hands tremble from existential dread. I am still working to overcome it all but without this I would fail without even starting

I have my inspirations, like Ellen Ripley and Juliette Nichols, I want to have that courage and I will work for it

You for example, meliaesc, are a black box to me. I will try to find out who is the person I am talking to on the web and search for their posts just to understand what is going on. Who they really are and what’s their motivation. How they function and what values they have. Just to have a context in which I can interpret the message that otherwise is ambiguous. What is the real intent here?

Only through years passing by, trial and error and reasoning from the past I have learned that this is maybe not the usual style of thinking. That this inability to imagine what is going on in somebody’s else’s head or if anything was actually quite problematic a lot of times. Creating unnecessary divisions, sometimes even drama.

I have a natural ability to spark controversy that can be only restrained by carefully following most stringent of codes but I don’t bother with that on the web :)

I have problems imagining how other people think to begin with. That’s why I stick to programming. that’s way easier puzzle to crack than the extremely complicated human society. I prefer variables and functions to constant guessing games

I declare a constant and it has a logical and predictable purpose. That’s quite beautiful

Give me a random person and I am unable to even conceptualize what they think about me or if they think anything at all or even that they are indeed the same conscious people as me. It blows my mind on those rare occasions when I realize that someone sitting in the car nearby is actually an independent person.

So to answer your question. No I don’t think I can imagine that to be honest.

Never understood it all cause i’d sooner kill someone else than myself. Why would I kill myself? That seems strange. I would lose then, someone would win. Probably have some depression though, I mean I ought to have considering the theoretical state of things. No way I am gonna give satisfaction to anyone tho

No. I am going to eat my veggies, exercise daily to keep up my body as my temple, no drugs or alcohol and take care of myself. If only to show how much better I am than these fuckers. I will swim as they sink to the bottom. I will win and thrive at any price, at any cost. Some day I will drink tea on their graves, or just look at them with pity and compassion, throw some coin their way.

It is a dark souls game it all but you cannot just give up and quit to the desktop. no. we will crack that boss sooner or later and when we do, we will become more amazing than anyone can imagine. It is just a matter of time.

That was harder to watch than Isis beheadings

No wonder, those big dong conspiracists are the worst. Whole universe is nothing more than a giant penis? Ridiculous. All because of the low res labels on observable universe diagrams making a look like o and b look like d

Universe is a dick it’s their motto

If you hate this image then why post it. Fun image but please work on your titles lol, my point is it isn’t super good when you let some 1000 conspiracy theorists living in some niche forums live rent free in your head to such point they ruin cool images for you

I mean if they want to use it despite being told the state of things then who cares? There’s nothing to win here, it’s their pc

I couldn’t care less if someone on the internet sabotages their files because they want to be right 100% of time

I can’t tell if I hate cats or love cats but they are never neutral. In fact there is a wild one in my house right now

I don’t even know why is he in my house or how it happened but at this point I think we tolerate each other pretty good. He gets the hose sometimes, I get his piss hose on the floor sometimes. He gets the snacks, I get the purr and fluffiness. I guess I can live with this chaotic balance.

I guess for someone who likes to control things cats could be a nightmare as they will never be some obedient pets but that may tell more about the owner than the cat.

Kinda sucks that my floor and sofa is ruined tho, it’s like a mini tiger, wildlife in your house. I guess this is the pleasures of completely feral cats. It’s possible that with this experience I could take on some caracal or serval. Of course I am not crazy nor I approve to do this but I have a glimpse of what mindset and work it would take

The Cat is also a menace that cannot stand sight of any other cat and goes straight for the throat. Little fluffy psycho, quite lovely

Maybe you will be able to get the knuckles working somehow. Mine are still operational albeit there’s some wear and tear.

Probably one may want to try to repair them if they break, it has to be doable right

I actually prefer to eat them raw. A cup a day before sleeping. They act as sleeping pills for me

You get used to the taste and learn to enjoy it, same as with beer except they are good for you and increase hair density. It’s a real life equivalent of ent water

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Oh well it’s okay, I have been worse. Truth to be honest only after all this is when I truly can experience happiness. Back then I could never fully realize myself but after all these things are in the past, only now I feel true freedom and world brimming with possibilities. But I guess those things yes, they will be always some part of me. That’s how it goes. It could be worse because I could be poor on top of all this. Hard to imagine how hard life would be thenI imagine I would be long dead. as of now I theoretically should live a dream. I am extremely privileged and money won’t be ever a problem which must be a huge difference.

I can just pee on all those people that are clearly hostile. As long as I keep up the fitness routine get the sleep and micronutrients I am very much fine and even more than fine.

Thanks for listening.

Also sorry for your loss too.

I had some of these in the past when my dad died turning into a zombie from a brain virus infection. It was very hard sight to be honest to see someone reduced like this to some hallucinating animal going in circles and pissing under himself yet begging for something impossible to understand. 2 years after he died in some hospital from who knows what other than it was a sudden septic shock

I had panic attacks back then but they stopped some day overnight and most of anxiety kinda changed or even disappeared. So now it feels strange to me that I was afraid of public speaking for example like it was someone else who was

Sometimes I use psychedelics and on certain days with certain mindset I can feel immeasurable barrage of sadness when they kick in. It’s seriously like something hard to even withstand. I am not even sure if it is good because those emotions are overpowering, way too powerful. I feel like they could defeat me so to say if the trip took too long. It would not be humanly possible to withstand them. So as the drug wears off I feel relief to not feel those things because brrr. I would not wish on anyone to feel those things with such white hot intensity. I prefer the usual dial to 1/10 thanks

I don’t know but I think it is more like triggered by environmental factors you know. For example if people look at me annoyingly somehow for some reason then it starts. I even clearly remember some old guy on the parking lot looking at me in an annoying way for too long from the distance yesterday. It was a small thing but it was profound. This makes me feel like I am on a war suddenly and I get somehow detached and primal as if reduced to some basic instincts. I don’t really like that I so easily react to such things. Something very ugly stirs up and as I said metallic taste in mouth and this kind of crude determination and recklessness and certain electricity so to say. As if the gaze of that man was some kind of closing cage I must break free from at all and any cost and it suddenly feels like anything is justified and any means are fitting. That neighbor lady also felt like some kind of threat but unclear

America has a nazi problem and there is only one solution to a nazi problem

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