You might want to revisit it. She does provide a number of different ways to try dealing with them (including distancing yourself as one approach), and your own relationship tendencies. That’s what the last couple chapters are all about, actionable next steps. I personally walked away with a few new mental and behavioral approaches to try.

Nor does she characterize them (us?) into two groups, in fact she goes out of her way to explain that nearly every person this applies to has a mix of traits of differing degrees from internalizing and externalizing attributes. She also provides a number of exercises for helping to self-identify where you (and your parents) fall in the mix of various experiences, attributes, and behaviors. I didn’t take away any “good” / “bad” connotations, but rather various examples throughout the spectrum (including the extremes) of how abuse and reactions thereafter can vary greatly.

I interpreted it as her personal experience comes from her professional training, and treating many others. Granted she doesn’t say anything about her own parents, but honestly that would seem unprofessional to me if she had made it about herself.

I’m not sure what form it would take, in terms of sympathy from a psychology book, but she didn’t seem unsympathetic to me, just straightforward and sticking to facts.

Granted, I spent $0 on it since it was a library book. $35 does seem steep. I’d say like $15 would be appropriate.

Oooh…I’m intrigued! Thank you, I’ve just added it to my library list.

My uncle had that. My heart goes out to you both.

Mine are self-absorbed narcissists, so no. However what I really wanted to share is this book I read recently that was eye-opening to say the least (someone on Lemmy recommended it in another post):

“Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents,” by Lindsay Gibson.

Good luck out there.

I think I’m even more scared now that this has gone from “potentially screwing up by adding the wrong person to a Signal group,” to “doesn’t even know how to add a contact to their iPhone” level of incompetence. How do these people even manage to put on their pants?

Because this just “happens” to everyone, right? The iPhone did it, not him screwing up. This feels like “the dog ate my homework“ level of investigation.

I like your style!

I’m hearing DC was 100k+ too. That’s awesome!

Denver was easily over 11k.

I’d like to shit on her lap and go, “Hey what’s the big deal, it’s only a couple hours of your life or whatever. Just go wash it off, nbd.”

I can now sleep knowing I’ve accomplished something today. Phew.

Acute-tea-pi

They’ve now (since 2023) moved it to Estes Park. Lame. Not sure how you can move a location-based tradition and act like it’s the same. It’s like when they change an actor in a series and expect everyone to pretend it’s the same character who now looks totally different.

I think the seeds were planted back then (and earlier); we’re now seeing them come to fruition. So it depends what you mean by “different.”

I suspect a cabal of guide dogs was behind this move.

(Also /s, because yeah… sigh)

Yeah, she was 34 when it happened and fell into a pretty deep depression for years. The amount of work she had to do to become baseline functional again was more than her marriage could bear. There were no kids, so at least that wasn’t a factor. The good news is she met someone amazing and got remarried once she had the energy to focus on that again. Overall her life is pretty incredible again, but it was a very tough journey to get there.

One aside that I think is cool that I learned about guide dogs is they can be trained to watch for obstacles at human head height. Rowing racing shells have metal oar riggers that stick out pretty far and when they’re stored on racks, and can be at a variety of heights and are easy to trip over or walk into. Her dog was trained to watch for these sticking out at up to about 6’ and walk her around them even if there was no obstruction on the floor. He knew the difference between what she could fit under and what he had to navigate her around.

My former rowing partner was one of the people blinded by eye drops before these safety standards were established. I’m sure she can vouch for how not-a-big-deal this is after losing her job, marriage, home, and almost her life. Fuckers.

I wouldn’t think so on the movie thing. I think it would have to be a video rental store, although not necessarily specifically named Blockbuster. Technically I still “rent” movies at my library through their Kanopy streaming service, but I don’t think that’s in the spirit of the list.

Same. I’m actually surprised at the number of people who have owned them based on these responses. I used them at the library, and probably had a digital one that came with a computer (like Encarta or something), but never owned a full set, which is what I’d guess this list means.

I’m at 1 as well for never owning an encyclopedia. I’m actually surprised how many have. I used the ones at the library. I’m assuming this means the physical book kind, and not a digital one like Encarta or something.