I’m writing this as someone who has mostly lived in the US and Canada. Personally, I find the whole “lying to children about Christmas” thing just a bit weird (no judgment on those who enjoy this aspect of the holiday). But because it’s completely normalized in our culture, this is something many people have to deal with.
Two questions:
What age does this normally happen? I suppose you want the “magic of Christmas” at younger ages, but it gets embarrassing at a certain point.
And how does it normally happen? Let them find out from others through people at school? Tell them explicitly during a “talk”? Let them figure it out on their own?
Don’t lie to your children about someone sneaking into the house at night while everyone is asleep, it’s fucking weird.
It’s weird from an adult’s perspective but it’s magical for a kid, and seeing the excitement build and the idea of actual magic contributing to a really family centric event is like proper magic for a parent too.
I spent a long time growing up thinking that I would never do that to my kids, but I think it’s actually crueler not to do it now. You’re taking away an experience most children share and get excited by together for no real reason.
My children are 3.5 and 9months and I haven’t decided when I’d let the older one know but it’s certainly a few years away at least. I’m hoping that one day she comes and asks me herself how real it is because she’s pieced together how impossible some aspects are, but I really have no idea how naively optimistic I’m being. I guess what’s more likely is she comes home from school upset one day because another kid told her, and then I’ll have to explain it and get her on board to keep the magic alive for her little brother.
Yeah, once you have kids, you realize the magic of Xmas trumps any other potential issues one might have with it.
Kids don’t think about all the issues of “free toys, stranger danger, weirdo in my house, lapsitting on an older dude”.
For them Christmas is pure magic. I would never take this away from my Kids. My eldest knows the truth, he still loves pretending and making my youngest kids believe.
Sometimes the magic of a situation is much more important than the “educational value”. You won’t traumatize your kids by having santa come and have the best morning of their entire year…
- It’s not a stranger. Santa was a fairytale part of our family.
- He left presents with the permission and collaboration of my parents. So he wasn’t sneaking in without first consulting with them. No different to the comings and goings of my parents other friends and family. Theoretically they could have told him I was naughty, and not let him in.
- If it’s a real issue, for some weird reason, have him “post” the presents.
- kids cotton on fast, but it is a fun game, no different to waking from your nap and finding out your grandfather flew in from overseas when you were sleeping.
Let it be an exercise in critical thinking. I knew from a young age that Santa wasn’t real. Kids talk. Mom still gives us presents from Santa, 39 years later.
In our family it was done like this: The story of how the presents get magically to the house was told, just like you would tell a fairytale, in this kind of storytelling way. Younger children believe it, older children begin suspecting something from the tone of voice. We also let some things slip sometimes, like hiding presents and having to go and buy some secret stuff to help with preparing the Christmas. Children of older preschool age really enjoy being able to find out themselves, suspecting you and catching the clues. Then when they confront you with their theory, you can let them in on the conspiration by just a wink, maybe tell them not to let others know. They then tend to start participating, preparing their own presents for others. It works very well.
I like this. in my family, I figured it out at about 3 or 4, promptly told the 2 year old, and broke the reality to the next two before they could even start to believe there was a real Santa.
instead, Santa was the spirit of Christmas, so any of us could be Santa if we gave presents with no expectation of recognition or a return gift. much more Secret Santa than magical man leaving presents.
this did lead to several years where the youngest would give away all their toys, only to then reclaim them after presents were opened. generosity isn’t an easy concept for the pre-schoolers.
Never, because Santa is the spirit of Christmas, and he is real. As long as someone includes a “from Santa” label on at least one gift, Santa’s been there.
Nowadays, it’s agreed in the family that stockings are from Santa.
Kids talk at school. Ages 5 to 9.
Saw this on Reddit years ago, and it goes like: You had a great time thinking of Santa. Now you know the truth, and you are now Santa. Same as your parents. Don’t ruin it for your siblings, let them keep the magical feeling.
This. I was eight when I found out. My mother was in denial and kept using santa as a manipulation tool for good behavior until I was maybe 13, but she was an alcoholic with the tentative grasp of reality. I got super bitter about Christmas until I was homeless as a teen.
Christmas was the first major attempt to wrestle back what I felt I was owed as a child. I refused to be bitter, because I saw that as giving in to the people who wanted me to fail. I enjoy Christmas as punk as fuck.
Still hard, though. I can’t find anyone as into it as I want to be and don’t have the energy to really go all in as I want to.
The sooner you can tell your kids God’s not real, the better. Just make sure you tell them it’s not their job to explain that to their peers.
Unless you meant Santa. In which case the same applies.
I don’t remember being told that santa existed, growing in a deeply religious family christmas was always about Jesus. Now I’m an atheist so I guess 16-18 when I found out it’s actually a pagan festival that the romans ductaped Christianity to it
As an ex-child, I figured it out on my own at the age of 6. You see, back then, our gifts would be given to us by a Santa Claus in a suit at our kindergarten, and the gifts would be what we wrote letters for with our parents. We would tell our parents, and they would “write” and “send” the letters. Then they would buy, pack, and label the present, and then bring it in to our kindergarten sometime earlier. On one of the last days when we break up for Christmas, the Santa would come to our kindergarten and we would take photos with them and our presents. After that, we would go home with the presents and get the photos soon. Now, as you can clearly see in the picture from the previous year, the santa has a very different beard and suit, far too different to be real. Alongside that, a roll of the same wrapping paper was hidden behind my parents’ wardrobe, and last but not least, my name on the present was written in my mother’s unique and very recognisable handwriting style. Not bad for a 6-year-old, huh?
First, prove Santa Claus doesn’t exist and then we can talk about your opinions.
Are you referring to santa and elves or the birth of Christ?
My 5yo daughter appreciates santa et.al. as a cheeky fun fantasy just like the easter bunny and tooth fairy. I never tried to convince her that any of it it real.
We even have an elf on a shelf that she looks far every morning with great enthusiasm but if someone gets weird about she says “its just a toy ok”
We always said Santa was a fun make believe activity, but then our house has a lot of fantasy media so what’s one more myth?
Not christmas stuff here but also giftbringer once a year.
Most times the children get to know the truth at 6-8 year. When they are in the year off school you get to write and read… If you don t know yet the others will tell you. And sometimes a bit of laughing. Hardcore believers are like 10. Never saw one older than that.
My sister was 4 she wanted proof. So explained. I was 6 and mam told me cause my relatives got always so mutch more and she did not wanted me to feel bad. Or think i was bad. My niece was 10 and she was like 2 days sad crying in het bed after dhe was told.
We used Santa (et al.) as an exercise in critical thinking. Outside of saying, “Yep, the Easter Bunny did it.” we never directly lied about it. If they asked a question about it, we answered truthfully.
Child: “Whoa, how does he visit all those homes in one night?”
Dad: “It’s impossible unless he uses magic.”
C: “Whoa magic is real??”
D: “Nope.”
They all figured it out on their own before they hit grade school.
As soon as you want. They usually only care about the presents anyway. Doesn’t matter if it was given to them in a fat guy in a red suit or by their parents.
Kids I’m really sorry to tell you this, but this year we had the earliest Christmas decoration rollout in recorded history.
Unless something serious changes, scientists are predicting that by the year 2050, Christmas will be year-round.
That’s why we need you to grow up to understand that Christmas is in December, and to wage war on Christmas happening in any other month.
The real war on Christmas, and about the only war I support.
Halloween is over. I’m setting up my tree tomorrow morning. I’ll only take it down mid February. I’ll blast Christmas songs the entire time. It’s the best season of the year. Fuck only celebrating it in December.
Nothing beats sitting around a Christmas tree in the evening watching TV with the entire family for almost 4 months
Big box stores near me were selling Christmas stuff in September this year.
