Humans: 🤮
Human genitalia: 🍆💨👃🤤
“Why do we eat the fungi that taste good and not the ones that give you explosive diarrhea?”
The Roquefort (French blue cheese) is made from the mold that grows on rye bread.
So even the moldy bread, in the right condition, can become a delicacy.
lactobacillus is everywhere. Truly the king of kings.
Yo, thank you to yogurt, sourdough, and various fermented beverages. Bless.
On typing this out, I’m suddenly concerned about this being offensive or blatantly false. I never applied critical thought to the story before, as I’m pretty sure I was told it as a relatively young, and more relevantly gullible, man.
Is it true that this mold played a role in the “witches ride broomsticks” stereotype?
edit: Removed redundant word.
It sounds like a few different things got mashed together there. Ergot is a hallucinogenic fungus that grows on rye, and is speculated to be the cause of some of the witch panics. It’s not the same fungus found in Roquefort, but it is what they use to make LSD.
Witches flying is hypothesized to be entheogen use, since a common side effect is feelings of floating, flying, or otherwise ‘being high’.
The fungus you’re thinking of is likely ergot, because it shows up in pretty large volume in batches of rye.
In processing, it ends up as a dark purple/black dried up mass that assumes kinda a crescent shape. Mills will run a batch of rye through a color-sorter - a bunch of times consecutively - to reduce the amount of ergot in the batch before milling.
You can technically refine it into LSD, but if you screw up, you can kill people. (Morning Glories are the preferred method).
The number of 55-gallon drums of ergot I’ve disposed of, though… It’s difficult not to identify with Walter White and wonder… “what if?”
Iirc the psychoactive compound in ergot/morning glories is LSA, which is similar, but different from LSD. LSD is a refined version of LSA.
Some moulds are totally fine, see blue cheese. Some mycelium schlongs are dangerous, see death caps.
You can also put mold on meat. Lot trickier, but the famous Hungarian salami Téliszalámi (Winter Salami) is done like that.
See also other soft cheeses like brie
“Mycelium schlong”
Linguistic creativity at its best.
Wait I thought mushrooms were the flowers… Or are you telling me that flowers are also genitals!!! 💥
Flowers are flowers genitals as well.
So they’re manspreading
Poppycock.
Yep lol just wait till you find out what pollen is analogous too lol
So bees are slutty sex pests and fly around covered in plant cum…
brb, i have a fursona to make
Yes… But technically they’re performing In Bee-tro fertilization (IBF) … I’ll show myself out
Ha! I read that they’re loyal to their favourite flower… Fetish?
What a life.
It’s more like they’re the unicorns to angiosperms. Meanwhile non angiosperm plants are the guy who busts a nut on the bus
If the french eat frogs that’s fine, but when the south Americans do it everyone loses their minds.
(Poison dart frogs)
Both are pictures of genitalia, one of them is just really really small, microscopic even, so you are being very insensitive towards the microscopic genitalia.
I feel seen
It doesn’t need to be big to do it’s job!😡
No one:
Everyone: adds a pointless “No one:” above perfectly valid memes
POV: Someone added a useless “no one” to their meme
POV: you’re the other person watching someone else do the action being described
And on top of that, a pointless Twitter comment.
I swear, every meme nowadays is three levels of reaction deep.
But how will i drive engagement to my shitter page if i don’t slap my username on every meme I find?
This one grinds my gears too because it doesn’t even make sense.
“No one said nothing” is a double negative. Shouldn’t it be
Everyone:
Or just
(awkward) silence
I prefer calling it flowers than genitallia
Some women also call it their flowers and yeah I go down on flowers. :finger-guns:
tomato tomato
“why is that we eat the fruit and not the tree?”
Cinnamon
Maple syrup
Why apple but not apple seed
i eat the apple seeds, coward
dies
99% of mold gives humans something between mild discomfort and death. The remaining 1% tastes good with butter.
Not quiet
98.99% of mold gives humans something between mild discomfort and death, 1% tastes good with butter. The the remaining 0.01% is estimated to have saved over half a billion lives.
And 0.00001% makes me see and feel funny things
More of them do that, but only once.
Pretty sure the antibiotics also taste good with butter.
What doesn’t taste good with butter?
more butter
Kale, raw fresh fruit, sushi.
Plain yogurt, lettuce, candies.
It ain’t plain if it’s with butter
And then there are the few lucky people who die a whole lot faster if they take that .01%
Ah, so there are 3 options- discomfort, death, and nutrition. Therefore, every time you eat a fungus, you have a 1/3 chance of dying. Thanks for the info!
NotHowStatisticsWork
Oh, you like math? Name all the numbers.
Just as believing in a deity gives you a 50% chance of salvation.
True; some mold is actually medicine. Therefore you only have 1/4 chance of dying.
1/5, some are hallucinogens
Yeah? Then successfully explain how statistics work, smart guy. But I warn you, there’s a 50% chance you’ll fail.
It’s actually 50% because it either kills you or is doesn’t. Those are the two options.
You both sound correct. No idea who to trust, so I guess there’s a 50:50 chance that it’s 50% or that it’s one in three.
Or when growing in cheese.
Cheese also tastes good with butter.
Most molds are about as closely related to mushrooms as flatworms are to humans
Not to be confused with ringworms which are, in fact, a mold.
Or slime molds which are, in fact, an ameoba.
Now there’s a creature that really breaks our language conventions. Forget indeterminate gender, we can’t decide if it’s one creature or many at any given time.
And humans are more closely related to mushrooms than plants!
the difference between eating mushrooms and eating mold is the difference between oral sex and vore
Wait am I supposed to just motion the mushroom in and out repeatedly then once it shrivels, the job is done?
Blue cheese would like a word.
Whoa there… We eat mold too if they’re the right type and on the right things.
*Blu cheese has entered the chat*
