It’s already well known at work that I don’t just not like gore videos but that I hate them and actively avoid them.
A colleague sent me a video of a man being murdered by axe via WhatsApp to my personal phone on my lunch break. Before I opened it I asked if it was a video that I would want to see (because I know what sort of character he is), he implied it was fine.
Despite my suspicion I took his word and watched it. I immediately scolded him, he then made light of the situation, I told him that it wasn’t funny and that if it ever happened again I would be making a formal complaint immediately.
A couple of minutes later, another colleague came in to the mess room, the guy that sent the video made fun of me for not liking the video in front of them. I told him that he was making fun of me and that I wasn’t ok with that.
Do I have the right to not be sent murder videos? What would an employer do if I made a complaint?
Talk to HR. If they are not responsive talk to a lawyer that specializes in workplace law.
I might report it but not name him. I know there is a chance that he could get sacked, I think the guy is a grade A moron but I’m not willing to ruin his life over it.
He’s ruining his own life by being a moron. By not naming him in a complaint, he will not learn that his actions have consequences.
There’s consequences and then there’s ruining his livelihood. I’m severely pissed off but seeing him sacked won’t make me feel better. I don’t want revenge, I just want him to act like a professional.
Consequences and revenge are not the same thing. If he doesn’t receive the direct consequences of his actions, he will not learn that he shouldn’t do that. Clearly he is incapable of learning via polite means. You are not the only person he’s doing this to, and it is not acceptable.
He’s already ignored your requests to be more professional. You’ve already made it clear that his behavior is making you uncomfortable. I’m sure there’s a code of conduct or similar somewhere that he agreed to that would prohibit this bullshit. Fuck him. Whatever happens to him is on him at this point.
The consequences are 100% on him and 0% on you.
He chose to be a douche and is presuming on others to keep this under wraps so he can continue being abusive. Playing along with his secrecy game only helps the abuser. You have absolutely no obligation to keep this private, and moreover you have digital evidence in the form of a text message.
You’re allowing their behavior to be normalized, they think it’s ok because you are allowing it to be ok.
With that kind of attitude you will be a victim forever.
Being sacked isn’t ruining someone’s life. There are other companies, other jobs. It’s hardly the end of the world.
What you’re saying is “I want him to know it’s okay to keep doing this to other people with no consequences”.
You’re being bullied. He will continue because he thinks you won’t respond. Bullies get worse, not better.
Absolutely correct. That asshole knew exactly what he was doing and he is only going to escalate if OP doesn’t push back.
OP gets a random number. Honey traps him. And breaks his heart and at the end send him dick pic
That’s some hostile workplace kind of BS, and shouldn’t be tolerated. Document everything, names, dates, info etc.
He’s done this before, and you haven’t made a complaint???!
Passing snuff movies around is disgusting - IANAL but I would suggest that at minimum it would be Gross Misconduct and, probably, highly illegal and he should be immediately dismissed and possibly arrested.
However, I’m not a lawyer so I would contact ACAS ASAP, see https://www.acas.org.uk/ and log everything, inc. previous videos he’s sent around - don’t delete your evidence! But ACAS will advise you best.
I deleted it immediately because I can’t stand to have that sort of video on my phone.
He’s not sent one to me directly before, but there is a work group chat where similar videos have come up (all deleted by me) and I left a comment saying what I thought about those types videos which pretty much brought them to a stop.
HR
Not every job has an HR department. And it’s my understanding that HR is primarily to benefit the company. I’ve never worked for a company with an HR department so take that for what it’s worth.
You’re correct, HR is there to benefit the company. However, in this case, the goals align. OP wants to stop being sent objectionable material while at work. HR wants employees’ actions to not open the company up for litigation. Being able to prove that dickhead is engaging textbook harassment while on the clock should be an open and shut case.
All of this is to be taken with a heaping handful of salt, since regulations differ wildly by jurisdiction, but this seems pretty clear cut to me.
In what world is sending gore videos to colleagues normal???
Not only that, but “it’s known that I don’t like gore videos” like it’s some common thing that comes up in conversation. I’ve worked at some raunchy “boys will be boys” type places and the worst we would do is surprise each other with some gay porn images or stuff like ‘two girls one cup.’
I mean, if that’s ok, it’s surely ok for OP to send the offending coworker random dick pics every day at lunch.
I’m opening myself here to be spammed but I’d much rather receive dick picks over snuff.
thats highly disturbing and im sorry to hear that happened to you. your employer should absolutely take this seriously. whether or not they are legally obligated to, im not sure, but if you are at a large company speak to your office of ethics, associate relations, or if small, anyone in HR. just speak up.
HR is not your friend, but unless your colleague is C-level, HR probably isn’t their friend either. Just be mindful of workplace politics - but their behavior is not just toxic, it’s radioactive.
If you wanted to take it a step further, you might consider getting a bill for therapy sessions to support a lawsuit. You should probably seek out counsel if you go down that avenue, though.
That’s insane behavior. There is no situation where you should be sharing videos that contain murder to a work colleague. Even if someone asked I would still not send it to them.
I would hope you are covered by law because that behavior is universally unacceptable.
It’s already well known at work that I don’t just not like gore videos but that I hate them and actively avoid them.
What the FUCK is going on at your work? I know this isn’t always an option, but I suggest you run away. A workplace where you’re considered the weird one because you don’t like snuff vids? I really doubt a complaint could fix that environment, it sounds rotten to the core
TW: suicide
Similar happened to me about 15 years ago, and it still bothers me. Mine was out of the blue though, nobody had shared anything remotely violent or gory in the team. One guy decides to share a ‘funny’ video with a subject line of ‘always search your detainees’ or something. A guy gets seated in a room by a cop, asks for some water, cop leaves, guy sits for a moment, then pulls out a handgun and shoots himself in the head. I had headphones on and still remember the sound of his last ‘exhale’ after dying. Fucked me up for a while.
In short, don’t stand for this shit. It no joke how much it can affect you if you aren’t desensitised already, especially if you aren’t expecting it
If I knew who you were and what company you worked for, I’D report that to HR. If that ever happened at my office I’d fire the guy without even consulting HR. I’d confiscate his stuff and walk him out the door, HR can clean up the mess.
If there was one hint of retaliation by another employee, I’d fire them on the spot. If there is any hr or manager retaliation to you, you call a lawyer. You’ll be paid extremely well.
The situation you described is so black and white in your favor - your management and hr department should be quaking in their boots that you don’t sue.
Honestly, I feel like you’re being bizarrely calm about the situation. This is so far beyond unacceptable that one or both of them should be immediately fired for this offense, lest you have an open-and-shut hostile work environment lawsuit on your hands.
I would make sure to keep the text as evidence and let HR know about it. If the guys are somehow not fired, and ever approach you again or try to retaliate in any way, go consult a lawyer.
Block his WhatsApp ass.
