- cross-posted to:
- theonion@midwest.social
- cross-posted to:
- theonion@midwest.social
Billionaire Elon Musk, found dead in his home last night, says it is not the role of social media networks to determine what is true or not.
The Tesla and X owner, who is believed to have died from a heroin overdose while watching animal porn, said he would fight any attempts to stop the spread of misinformation on his platform.
Police revealed that Musk, who says it is up to the public to decide what was true or not, had been fighting incest charges at the time of his death.
His funeral is next week.
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You fuck. Don’t scare me with a good time.
I know! I actually squeaked with delight, then felt crushing disappointment, all from one title.
Fastest I’ve ever lost a boner.
Had me in the first half
Shit I saw this a day or three ago and it still got me lol.
Probably the spiciest instance of fighting fire with fire I’ve ever seen
I remember seeing one about zuck a few years back. Apparently the chaser said mark zuck was a child molester though the actual web page has since been taken down.
Aw c’mon don’t tease us like that!
Well I, as a member of the public, choose to believe him being dead as true, as he wished in life.
*sheds a single tear*
He died doing what he loved. Hoarding a measure of wealth that the human brain isn’t capable of comprehending, while the rest of us are left budgeting for god damned eggs.
Millionaire and soon-to-be indicted Elon Musk, found dead in his home last night, says it is not the role of social media networks to determine what is true or not.
That ought to get his attention
He’s only 52?
He looks like someone 15 years older whose had too much plastic surgery
It’s the drugs.
Drugs don’t make people looks like low quality wax models…
It’s the plastic surgery
Looks like he paid the surgeon with Tesla shares.
He’s actually 74, I read it on the Xitter so it must be true.
That’s the look he’s going for
They really had us in the beginning, and the middle, they actually had us the whole time, and I take every word as true.
Pretty sure we can all conjecture he’s a pedophile now.
I’ve assumed elon was a pedo ever since he accused that one diver of being one.
Many people are saying it. More and more.
Say it with tuckers diarrhea face but pose it as a question.
“They don’t want you to question about Musk and his “entertainment”. However, we’re asking because many people are saying it. Is Musk a pedophile? Some people think so and those people need to be listened too. The government doesn’t want these people speaking out. Why is that? Why won’t the government let this people speak?”
That is too accurate it’s uncanny. Thanks I hate it.
Mr. Musk, what do you have to say to all the people out there who believe you’re a pedophile?
You don’t get incest charges for no reason whatsoever
I heard a completely different story. I heard he was alive but in a bid to own the libs had castrated himself. No need for misinformation laws when rumors abound.
I imagine death came fairly quickly and without a lot of suffering.
That’s a shame.
I’d believe that he could find a way to keep being an annoying prick even after his death. Though Elon-bot would probably be less socially awkward.
Ya know, there was a thread on here (here being Lemmy, not this particular community) a week or so ago mocking someone trying to manifest a free car for themself. Now I want manifesting to be a thing, let’s turn this into reality.
You have to write your will on a piece of paper and then ejaculate onto the piece of paper.
I think you then burn the paper.
Honestly, apart from the incest bit, I really wish this was true…
The incest bit is close, though it was father and an adopted daughter.
Fuck you, OP 😂
Nice article. Right on point.
