• loobkoob@kbin.social
      46·
      11 months ago

      Honestly, most “ugly” people can be reasonably attractive if they get in shape, eat healthily (especially in a way that clears up their skin) and style themselves (clothes, hair, etc) in a way that suits them. Plus finding good angles and lighting for photos/videos, and building up some confidence and charisma for in-person interactions. Those things aren’t necessarily easy and they take patience and commitment, but most people can easily go up a few points on an attractiveness/10 scale if they manage them.

    • calzone_gigante@lemmy.eco.br
      152·
      11 months ago

      Most people do, they are just comparing themselves with models, celebs or influencers, people that earn a living out of being pretty.

    • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
      9·
      11 months ago

      Yeah, he looks like an average nerdy type guy. Not the best but also not the worst thing in the world. There’s plenty of people who are into that type.

    • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
      92·
      11 months ago

      For some reason I read that as woman who talked about being ugly? And then I looked and I was like… Yeah I get it that looks like a dude.

      He is extremely normal and average looking.

    • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de
      6·
      11 months ago

      I think if he had gotten braces for his overbite and a nicer pair of glasses before that pic on the left, there wouldnt be anything to really point out at all yeah.

  • Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    552·
    11 months ago

    There’s a Reddit community I used to visit now and then that was for ugly people. It was so toxic and hateful. These people literally believe that they can never be happy or have a relationship because they think they’re ugly - it’s their entire identity. I worry that many outcasts fall into this trap during their formative years and it warps their view of the world like the gentleman in the video.

    I think that once they get out into the real world, most folks find that looks don’t matter as much as lifestyle, personality, and compatible morals.

    • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
      32·
      11 months ago

      I didn’t think I was ugly because I thought I was ugly. I thought I was ugly because no one wanted anything to do with me for reasons I couldn’t comprehend.

      I also noticed how “pretty” people didn’t have anywhere near as hard of a time socializing as I did. They were allowed to have bad personalities. Even if I was as kind and helpful as I could possibly be I’d never be treated the same way as a “pretty” person would.

      • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
        171·
        11 months ago

        It’s one of the ugly truths of human existence, that most people won’t admit.

        “Looks” absolutely play a large role in inter-human relationships. But since it carries a lot of unpleasant things most people don’t want to admit, they either ignore it, or outright lie about it to make themselves feel better.

        The research has been done “pretty” people earn more, get more promotions, and are generally more successful at life.

        Not to say your life is over if you’re not pretty. But there is a clear advantage.

      • Signtist@lemm.ee
        91·
        11 months ago

        The thing to focus on is that there are many different kinds of people in the world. I grew up with a disability, and it didn’t take me long to figure out that there are people you’ll meet who just hate you for not being what they consider to be “normal.” There’s nothing you can do - they’re just going to hate you. But, I eventually found that there are also people who would never dream of doing such a thing, and will treat you neutrally until they get to know you, and will treat you well after that if you treat them well.

        Yes, the assholes of the world will always be there, and they’ll make you feel like shit, but the more you can dismiss them as simply being judgemental assholes who know nothing about you, the more you’ll be able to see all the people who will treat you fairly. Sure, if you’ve got a terrible personality, then even those people will want to have nothing to do with you, but if you control the things you can control, there are a lot of people in the world who will see that and think well of you for it.

      • Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        6·
        11 months ago

        I had similar experiences in my youth and it definitely warped my perception of self-worth. It took a long time to overcome.

    • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      6·
      11 months ago

      When I was young, I wanted to think of women in a way that I could look beyond typical attractiveness. I made a point to find something about everyone. It soon became apparent that everyone is beautiful in a way. Sometimes it’s not a facial feature but there’s always something. And I started to find a lot of women sexy even if I wasn’t really sexually attracted to them. As life has gone on, it’s been interesting to me how someone that might not be very pretty becomes hot as all be because of their talent or skills.

      I always thought I was ugly but women always found me attractive. It was a hard thing to accept.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      11·
      11 months ago

      Yeah. Eliot Rodgers was a prime example.

      Honestly I looked weird mid puberty and it took me a long time to learn I’m fairly attractive. I’m not like supermodel hot or anything but it’s fair to say I’m pretty in buffalo. You can always find flaws in the mirror, the people on tv do every day. I choose not to. My wife doesn’t mind them, my girlfriend doesn’t mind them either, and neither do the women I do casual stuff with. I get a lot more benefit from doing other things with my mental energy.

  • Sizzler@slrpnk.net
    48·
    11 months ago

    Moral of the story: If you are ugly and there’s a youtube comments chance to get laid, you take it(even if they have a furry profile photo.)

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
    341·
    11 months ago

    I used to work with two guys I called “Tall Todd” and “Tall Paul”. Both were really smart and part of our IT department. Both in shape-ish, skinny, very tall.

    Paul was conventionally hot - his side job was modeling, he made money at it and I did once unexpectedly see him on a national advertisement. Hot, you understand? He was nice, friendly, I wasn’t attracted to him but could see he was physically really good looking, and was outgoing and pleasant, creative guy, good Halloween costumes.

    Tall Todd wasn’t good looking like that, and had the additional baggage of being named Todd, but had this way of existing in the world that was just so comfortable and made you feel comfortable. I think when people say confidence this is what they mean - not cockiness but this self acceptance. He was just so attractive without being physically attractive - he wasn’t ugly exactly but unremarkable in looks. But goodness he was attractive in real life. Magnetic.

    I do not know how people get that sort of confidence but it’s not by being really good looking.

      • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world
        3·
        11 months ago

        If you’re over 6’ the “how tall are you” is either the first or second question on every date along with “what do you do for work”

        It’s kinda sad how predictable we can be as animals

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      2·
      11 months ago

      I had a friend in college like Todd. Weird looking dude, but every time you talked to him you just felt good. He was fun to talk to and interesting but a good listener too. You were just happy to have spent time talking to him. Now I’m not into guys so I can’t say subjectively if that made him attractive, but based on what I’d heard he had all the men and women he wanted throwing themselves at him, and I believe it.

      And for the people saying your friend was leaning on height, this guy was about the height of the average woman and hung out with a lady over 6’

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
        2·
        11 months ago

        They were tall, and I’m not disputing the whole “attractive people are more attractive” idea. I don’t think that comfortable - confidence vibe comes from looks, you can be good looking and very insecure about your looks, uncomfortable because everyone is looking at you, and I’m sure Tall Paul was comfortable enough with his looks to make money off them but didn’t have it.

    • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1112·
      11 months ago

      People absolutely get that kind of confidence by being really good looking…

      What you found was an outlier, a unicorn. It happens but that in no way changes reality.

      • Sotuanduso@lemm.eeEnglish
        141·
        11 months ago

        You can also get that kind of confidence by not worrying about where you fall on the attractiveness scale. I like to think I’m that way. If I wanted to I could definitely pick out things that might make me ugly, but I don’t worry about it. I care more about the interactions I have with people than I do about how I physically look. The only things about my appearance that give me a degree of confidence are just things that amuse me, like that I always wear the same color scheme or that my normal and facial hair differ in color and texture.

        I can think of at least two of my friends who also share the quality of being comfortable and self accepting despite not being physically attractive, and I really enjoy being friends with them.

        • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
          48·
          11 months ago

          TWO WHOLE FRIENDS! Stop the presses!

          The research has been done on this. The undeniable fact is “pretty” people have a clear advantage in life.

          I know that may make you feel uncomfortable, but it’s the truth. The same as being poor is a disadvantage so is being ugly.

          Just like someone who grows up poor can overcome it, so can ugly people. But that doesn’t mean the disadvantage isn’t there…

          • Sotuanduso@lemm.eeEnglish
            2·
            11 months ago

            You called one person being that way an outlier, so I added three more from my own experience (two friends and myself.)

            And yeah, maybe that is still an outlier. I’m willing to accept that, because I have something that might explain why it’s more common with the people I know. The three of us are part of a Christian fellowship, and Phillipians 3:3 says we have confidence in Christ and not the flesh - interestingly enough, I literally just got back from a Bible study with that group where we hit that verse.

          • lurker2718@lemmings.world
            21·
            11 months ago

            This wasn’t the point as i read, the question was about confidence. And this has little to do with how “pretty” you are. Your confidence is only in your mind. Sure if others think of you as ugly, it’s harder to gain confidence. But I think especially a lot of girls have confidence issues with their appearance despite looking “good”.

  • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayEnglish
    379·
    11 months ago

    Women out there are still complaining they can find a bf when all they have to do is say something vaguely nice to a guy and he’ll marry you.

    • lady_maria@lemmy.worldEnglish
      24·
      11 months ago

      eh… women are mostly complaining because they struggle to find men they’d want to date, not because they think men won’t date them.

  • BlackNo1@lemmy.world
    295·
    11 months ago

    most “ugly” people put themselves into a box. take care of yourself, wash your face, brush your teeth, eat somewhat decently, put minimal effort into your appearance, and have a speck of self confidence and you can change your world.

    I know it can be daunting especially if you have legitimate mental health issues that affect how you view yourself but trust me theres very few “ugly” looking people in this world and most of them still make it work by having a good decent personality.

    Most people are ugly because they have a ugly personality.

    • yamanii@lemmy.world
      4·
      11 months ago

      Most people are ugly because they have a ugly personality.

      Are you japanese or something? I swear I heard this from an entertainer from there when she asked her boss why was everyone so pretty at the company.

      • BlackNo1@lemmy.world
        2·
        11 months ago

        no ive just been lucky to meet truly beautiful and gorgeous people who are not conventionally considered “attractive.”

            • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
              21·
              11 months ago

              Actually, I’m above average in looks, but I don’t need to lie about it being an advantage. I also have empathy for other humans, so I treat them with respect by not blaming them for their disadvantage…

              • BlackNo1@lemmy.world
                23·
                11 months ago

                i don’t remember blaming or lacking empathy for people who are perceived as ugly.

                In fact its funny that you say that people with looks that aren’t conventionally “attractive” are “disadvantaged.” which by the way is a fucking awful way to look at people.

                It proves my point that you arent ugly because of how you look but how you act and to me thats what makes you ugly.

                and you are quite an ugly cunt

    • Son_of_dad@lemmy.world
      1·
      11 months ago

      Yeah he just wasn’t trying. A little facial hair, better haircut, a good shower, nothing wrong there

    • dumbass@leminal.space
      6·
      11 months ago

      He looks like someone I’d make on one of those character creators that let you morph the face when I’m high af.

  • taanegl@lemmy.world
    138·
    11 months ago

    Some women are based. They’re just like “I’m gonna find a partner and just go hard. Let’s look on social media. Bam. Found one.” You have to appreciate, nay - be in respect and awe of the pure gall, the nerve, the gumption of this lady, the globes on this bitch. She made a life like it was nothing. I am intimidated, elated and my breath has been taken away.

    God speed, dear lady. God speed…

    • ChewTiger@lemmy.world
      3·
      11 months ago

      Right? I read your comment and was like…psh can’t be that strange, so I went into this prepared to read a few articles.

      Read about a dude who lived his whole life and died without ever seeing a woman. He was in his 80’s! That’s wild.

    • dutchkimble@lemy.lol
      2·
      11 months ago

      You’re right!

      Great way to pass the time, like “Patient who played guitar as doctors removed tumor reveals what it was like to stay awake during brain surgery”